Kitty Time

Motherhood, babies, life, celebrities, politics…kitty’s claws come out when she’s in the mood.

Ever heard of this? July 22, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 6:22 pm

Ok kittens – today is my last post until next Wednesday. I am off to New Orleans tomorrow for work — and then am taking a long weekend. Based on the comments and high traffic from last week’s “The Girl Child” post – you better believe I will be writing a follow-up on that subject next week.

Today, I was going to just rant about some celebrity gossip, namely how in the hell is Nicole Kidman that thin so quickly and was she really even ever preggo? Or is Jenny Garner really five mos preggo? Cause I’m five mos preggo and well…we don’t look the same, no matter how similar our pre-pregnancy bodies are…..

But, then I stumbled upon this and frankly, I am speechless. I’m sure many of you recall quite fondly the ice pack you are given for your vag post-partum. Man I loved that thing. It was the only thing that made me feel better. Well..ever heard of vaginal popsicles?

I have nothing more to say.

A bientot. Look for me again next Wednesday.


Paging Supernanny July 21, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 6:07 pm

As all my die-hard fans know, my DD is 2.5 years old and I believe the most recent word a random stranger used to describe her was “spitfire.”

Like her mommy, she doesn’t go down without a fight. And well, given her age, on most days, I like that about her. She’s no one’s doormat to step on on their way into the house. But sometimes, as anyone who is parenting a toddler knows, sometimes it’s just really draining. There are no words.

We all know every child is different, so I only know my own. Her extreme tantrums really started to peak shortly after she turned two last November and by January, there were many days when she brought me to tears and I couldn’t understand the fury that had been unleashed on the house. But, we powered through, we were as consistent as you can be with discipline, rules, standing firm and she’s gotten better, slowly. Along the way I learned how to judge other parents a whole lot less..and I also came to appreciate why people have total brats – it’s just easier. Don’t get me wrong – we wouldn’t tolerate that in our house – but again – I can see how it happens. It’s a lot of work to stay on top of a toddler.

So after fighting the good fight with her, I’m not sure I’d use the word “civilized” to describe her now vs. the winter because again, she’s just two, but she is more respectful and aware of boundaries. How’s that for diplomatic?

So my point is – things have been better for us lately. We’re not averaging 6 tantrums in the morning before I even get out the door to work anymore. There are still days when she looks at me filled with hatred and disgust that I would offer her Mac’n’Cheese, typically the only thing she eats on any given day, but again – isn’t that why life with a toddler is so…well…exciting? Who can predict anything?

But enter last night. For whatever reason, DD hadn’t napped well all weekend and this is a kid who goes a million miles a minute when awake but damn does she love and appreciate her beauty sleep. So she hadn’t napped well and it was time for bath and bed…and it began….the tantrum of epic proportions.

It went on for a solid 25 minutes. Think it was hard to hear your sweet baby crying for even 5 minutes back in the day? Just imagine, unless you know it first hand, a completely irrational toddler kicking viciously and screaming for a full 25 minutes. It felt like an eternity. But unlike with a newborn, my heart wasn’t breaking with a deep need to solace their her…trust me…..this is a completely different feeling.

There were a few times I looked around the room, feeling sure that there were hidden cameras in my house and Supernanny was going to come busting in the door. Could my child be a future Oscar winner? Is it possible someone put her up to this and she was able to understand the rules, time it so well, and carry it out so forcefully and dramatically, I began to hope, trying to make sense out of the nonsensical.

Now, a savvier parent might have been able to anticipate this tantrum an hour or so earlier when I was urging her to come to the table for dinner and after a long explanation of how she wasn’t hungry and didn’t want dinner, she eventually was able to force herself into the kitchen, completely hunched over, walking slowly, with her hand dramatically draped across her eyes as if she was a hunch back and was being guided to her death – a public hanging, nonetheless.

Anyhow –  DD kept up the good fight to the bitter end. We didn’t end up pursuing bath time last night as it took both my DH and myself and our full strength to get her clothes off and just put her PJs on. I almost gave up on that and just put her to bed in what she was wearing. But it was her ability to keep it going to the bitter end that amazed me.

I took her upstairs and put her in bed. I pointed out that while we love her very much, she was so bad tonight that she wouldn’t get any stories or songs before bed – and if she wants stories and songs again, she has to follow the rules and go have a bath when we say it’s bath time. Would you believe that the entire time, DD had the steely glaze of hatred pasted on her face, with her eyes slanted and just wishing death upon me? I mean, if looks could kill, I am dead on her bedroom floor and was as of 7:30pm last night.

In the end, not only was it exhausting, but I couldn’t believe how much I felt like we were “that” family- the one we all watch on those dumb reality shows and mock because they are such idiots with no control over their lives.

Ahh…the joys of parenting a toddler.  So very humbling.


The Girl Child July 16, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 6:02 pm

Yesterday marked the half-way point of my pregnancy and we decided to find out whether the baby is a boy or a girl. The surprise was fun the first time around but my husband, in particular, really wanted to know this time.

So I conceded and as it turned out, for me personally, finding out the sex yesterday was way more fun and exciting than learning after the pain and exhaustion of enduring labor when all you care is that the baby is out of you.

So yesterday was an exciting day – and we learned that we are having another little girl – and so far, she’s happy and healthy and growing right on track. All is well in this world.

What puzzles and INFURIATES me is the response of many people over the news. To me – it was the most exciting news – one that could just be met with a simple “Congratulations.”

I mean, not only am I familiar with girls but I have three sisters – I understand the intensity and role of the relationship of a sister in your life. Maybe it’s not always sunshine and roses but sisters have a strong bond. Sure, brothers do too – but if you think of all the families you know – I’m pretty sure you think of more sister relationships with strong friendships than you do brothers.

And so, as I spread the news, the reaction I received from many people was, frankly, sexist – was I going to keep trying until I have a boy, or ANOTHER girl? And the best one “Well, how did DH take the news?”

Excuse me, is this communist China? Do we shudder at girl children? Does having a son prove something that I don’t know about? Is there somewhere that says that boy children are what completes a family because he carries on the family name?  Let’s not forget that those sons wouldn’t be carrying on any family names without our little girls.

Being one of four girls, my father heard this all too often, especially when my mom was pregnant with my younger sister and my parents found it to be beyond insulting, patronizing and obnoxious. I feel the same way. I have countless friends who only have sisters and they all are quick to relay stories of how much their parents despised being asked these same questions. Meanwhile, when I come across families with only boys – the reaction is always one of “Wow, they must keep you so busy with all the energy in that house.” Or “Wow – so many boys!” Or something along those lines.

All I care about is having a healthy baby – but trust me – I am THRILLED to be having another little girl and so is my DH.

For many reasons, we don’t plan to have any more children, so our family will be more than complete with our two little girls.


The Old Gray Mare July 11, 2008

Filed under: Husbands,Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 2:23 pm

Ain’t what she used to be…….

Is there a similar song for men? I’ve spent the last few days trying to come up with one but have yet to figure it out. Can you think of any?

Well…as it turns out….it seems that there should be.

You might have missed this piece that was buried in the NYT Health blogs earlier this week but it seems that a woman’s age of 35+ isn’t the only thing that impacts fertility and success at conceiving a child. New research out this week shows that a man’s fertility can also be impacted once he turns 35.

Ahh…the old gray bull..ain’t what he used to be, now is he? Maybe his horns aren’t quite so sharp anymore either…so to speak.

This fascinates me on many levels. I don’t know one woman in her 30s who doesn’t think about what turning 35 means and can’t hear the biological clock ticking. This doesn’t mean that every woman I know in her 30s necessarily cares about it or even wants children but for those that think children are even a remote possibility, the clock striking midnight on the day a woman turns 35 can be a dark hour.

I mean hell – they even call it a “geriatric pregnancy.”

To be associated with the word “geriatric” at the ripe and beautiful age of 35 can do a lot to one’s psyche.

Meanwhile, men can be tip-toeing through the tulips and partying the night away, with nary a care in sight – and instead just figure they’ll score themselves some younger woman with ripe ovaries to spawn their offspring.

Think again, men. Your swimmers might be getting a little crotchety and dried up too…..I’d like to see more dialogue on this in the media, more attention given to this issue rather than the constant doldrum of fear forced on women that they are getting old and dried up:

And speaking of fighting off age – every one of us should read this article in the Post and then consider upping our Vitamin D intake – I, for one, have dramatically increased the intake of Vitamin D for myself, DD and DH:

Have a good weekend, kittens.


More on babies having babies July 9, 2008

Filed under: Celebrities,Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 2:03 pm

So this morning at the gym, I was catching up on the latest In Touch magazine and towards the back, found a small blurb on Jamie Lynn Spears. I know this is really going to shock you all – she’s finding motherhood more difficult than she anticipated. She is used to getting 10-12 hours of sleep and now is having to wake up every three hours (she should be freaking grateful she gets three hour stretches!). So apparently her mom is stepping in to help her but vows to not make her life too easy.

OK. First of all, shouldn’t her FIANCE be stepping in to help her? What exactly is he doing in this scenario because I’m pretty sure he had a hand in bringing this baby into the world.
And secondly – why is this buried in the back of the magazine?

Why must we tout pregnant teen “celebs” on front covers and all over the news when they announce pregnancies and announce the arrival of healthy babies into the world – but when reality sets in and life suddenly isn’t all sunshine and roses – the teen learns babies aren’t just chubby cheeks and dimples – but a shitload of exhausting work – shouldn’t THIS be the front cover story? Shouldn’t THIS be what they are covering on Access Hollywood?

How is burying that towards the back in a small blurb actually helping any teens out there?

It seems to me that if this girl is going to get her old gig back with Disney, and she’s going to be touted ANYWHERE as a celebrity and possible role model for other young girls (I cringe even writing that) then she ought to be forced onto the talk show circuit, and put on covers of teen magazines all over the place, talking about the REALITY of having a baby, how exhausting it is, what it did to her body, how draining never sleeping but a few hours in a row is, and how NOT rewarding it feels at first. This is a baby who had a baby. So let’s put it out there for all the world to learn from. No one should care how she’s getting her body back or what her future TV deals are if we haven’t heard the truth out of her first.

In that vein, if anyone else is following the “Baby Borrowers” show on NBC, know that I am very much looking forward to watching the wrath of the toddlers brought on these dumb teens this week. The thing that has surprised me the most about this show so far, beyond how incredibly painful some of the teenage girls are to watch for even one second, is how mature most of the teen boys are. I cannot believe how quickly they stepped up to the plate and really stood in when their pathetic, whiney, princess, immature girlfriends cried because they didn’t want to wear a pregnancy suit or didn’t like being put in their place by the moms, or didn’t like being disrupted at night. Most of those girls are making me sick. Kudos for the boys for being mature.

And finally – two more celebrity babies, born to ADULTS, arrived this week. So let’s re-start the mocking of celebrity baby names we so love to play. What’s with Nicole Kidman’s daughter’s name? SUNDAY Rose? I mean, come the f on, Nicki Kids. Sunday? Think she went anywhere and introduced herself as “Sunday” to see how that goes over amongst mature adults? So freaking stupid. And then we hear the justifications about all the spiritual reasons behind the name and how it’s part of the name of the islands where they honeymooned, and on and on, and it still seems equally as dumb of a name to me.

 I heard on the radio that Matthew McConaughey’s son is named Levi, which frankly I think is really cute, so I won’t mock that. Plus I am amazed at how incredibly beautiful his Brazilian model girlfriend is, each and every time I see a picture of her, so really – Levi is going to be so hot.

That’s enough ranting for me today.


A new kind of exercise July 3, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Wired_Momma @ 2:38 pm

I don’t know about you but I do love catching re-runs of “Dr. 90210” on Bravo, or whatever channel it comes on. It fascinates me to see the kind of people that come in for plastic surgery, just how much they are willing to spend, and the different types of surgery people are seeking.

One of the more unusual episodes I watched was about vaginal rejuvenation surgery. Have you seen this episode? Now – anyone who has delivered a baby vaginally can fully appreciate why someone might consider vaginal rejuvenation. Let’s face it, your stomach isn’t the only thing that ends up all stretched out after birth.

And then, along comes a story in the NYT that is impossible for me to resist….an gyno has opened a spa for “Pelvic Fitness.”

Now come on people. This spa is wholly dedicated to “strengthening and improving a woman’s genital area.”

Is anyone actually mature enough to get through this piece without giggling?

For a whopping $150, you can let the good doctor shove her fingers inside you and you are to contract your pelvic muscles around her fingers – so she can gauge just how loose you really are.

My…can I count the ways I’d RATHER be spending $150?

Should I start? Or leave you to making your very own list?

Ahh….ladies of Manhattan…rejoice now that you have your very own gyno spa!!!

Have a great July 4th kittens. My DD was in the back yard today, waving around her American flag, and I felt compelled to hum a tune along with her as she waved the flag around the yard and we marched. Took me a few minutes to realize I was humming the British national anthem….

ha ha.

I’m a true patriot.


Tranquility and Peace July 1, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 1:41 pm

Gather round, kittens, for if you have children at home – the story I have to tell today is like lore. You’ll have to dust off this corner of your brain and really think hard to remember a time like this. Many of you will think it can’t be. Some of you won’t even remember. But I am here to help you breathe out the anger and feel the peace. It is such a lovely place to be.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Over the weekend, we went to the beach to celebrate my sister’s birthday. We had a great weekend and after tucking DD into bed on Sunday night at my mom’s house, DH and I hit the road, back home. My mom wanted to keep DD for a few days and what kid wouldn’t rather be at the beach in the summer than in their boring old house?

And so it began yesterday but escalated to a new level of calm today. CHILDLESS MORNINGS.

Rather than catching up on the same episode of “Little Bill,” “Diego” or “Wonder Pets” and battling with an irrational 2.5 year old over why breakfast is important and why she IS eating it despite her loud protests to the contrary, then handling the emotional stress of her not wanting mommy to leave for work, today I had the house TO MYSELF.

I arrived home from the gym to find DH out front watering ( NOTE: he is obsessed with green grass, he will fall victim to butt dead brown grass by month’s end, we go through this exercise every summer, but he is still holding out hope that this year, just this one year, he will have the greenest looking pasture of them all. And who am I to crush that dream?). He soon thereafter finished watering and left for work at 7am.

This meant – JUST ME.

Think back kittens.

To the last time at 7am on a random Tuesday morning that you were the only person making noise in your own house.

DH had my coffee made, the paper out – it was the life of a queen. I lounged in front of the “Today” show.

I almost didn’t recognize anyone on the TV screen, it’s been so long.  So, we reacquainted ourselves.

I read the paper.

I drank coffee. (yes, decaf, for any preggo police out there).

But it wasn’t just any old cup of coffee, it was WARM COFFEE.

I read my horoscope.

I leisurely got ready for work.

No drama, no tears, I even had time to look in a full length mirror and then get to work on time, without plowing down an old lady with a cane to make the light or tail-gating some new teen driver to get past them and save a minute here and there.

It is true. It is all true. It is a morning of yester-year. A foreign place and time to really almost anyone reading this blog.  Treat it like it was your own kittens.

The only thing missing was a view of the water, the soft crashing waves and a hot houseboy.

But really – just the peace and quiet of a random Tuesday was more than enough for me.