Until recently, my daughter has only wanted me for everything around our house. I would say we didn’t really deal with “separation anxiety” until earlier this Winter, around the time she turned two. It was exacerbated when I was home with her full-time for almost two full weeks.
It’s a story most of us know well and many will soon enough know well – I couldn’t so much as leave the room to pee or blow dry my hair without it being a huge drama, with the little one holding onto my legs, crying her eyes out. Fortunately that didn’t last long though it was taxing while it was happening.
What’s really been the case for so long – I honestly can’t remember when it started only when it’s eased up – is it’s just been about me – even without the tears and the drama. Only mommy can read the stories, only mommy can take her up to bed, only mommy, only mommy.
Now trust me, I’m not complaining. It’s been really sweet and who doesn’t love being the apple of her daughter’s eyes? But there’s more to it. If I didn’t make it home from work in time to see her at night, “Where’s mommy? Want to see mommy!”
Talk about a knife in the chest.
Not to mention, sometimes it’s nice for your spouse to take the kid upstairs and read them bedtime stories, while you take a break.
Then there’s how all of this made my darling husband feel. Truth be told, he’s felt like second string for quite some time. And who can blame him?
But suddenly, suddenly, things have changed. A dear friend warned me that this would happen and it was just impossible for me and my husband to believe because it’s been only me, all the time, for what feels like an eternity. I always knew to cherish this time because well, she’s bound to hate me as a teen. What self-respecting teenage girl doesn’t despise her mother, for at least a short time?
But things have changed and there is a new sheriff in town. About two or three weeks ago, Daddy suddenly became the apple of our daughter’s eye -really without warning and without explanation. Now we hear a lot of this: “Daddy do it, Daddy read it, Daddy take you upstairs, Daddy coming home in few minutes…Daddy…go play?”
Hell, some mornings I’m told by my cherub that I’m not allowed in the playroom to play..just her and daddy.
Because it’s mean, I cannot acquiesce to such demands – but my – how far we have come! How much has changed!
And frankly, it feels a bit like a weight is off my shoulders. Sure, there are some days where I don’t love being second string but the truth is – now we can truly share in so many tasks when spending time with our daughter, it’s just refreshing. It’s also nice to see how much my husband loves being #1.
Realizing that life with a toddler is a bit like “Survivor” – the stakes are high, allegiances can change faster than you can blink an eye, and drama is just waiting for you at every turn – I know better than to think any of this will last very long.
In the meantime, I’ll enjoy catching a few minutes of “Access Hollywood” on some evenings, while Daddy is reading bedtime stories.
Speaking of Dads, a KT BFF is a recent SAHD and just launched his new blog: www.punditdad.wordpress.com
Check it out.