Gather round kittens. It’s Friday, so what better way to end the week than to discuss something as meaningless and empty as celebs?
For being dreary, boring old January, there actually is good celeb fodder happening this week. Now, I could talk about how Brit made Kitson open for her at 2am so she could shop:
Or how Brit has multiple personalities and an even worse fake British accent than Madonna:
Or I could pontificate on proof that Matthew McC doesn’t know how to spell and question why he uses words like “stoked” when describing his feelings about pending fatherhood. Or “womb” to paint a picture of where his baby is currently located:
But I won’t. Because instead I would like to talk about the two celebs I love to hate more than anything: Katie Holmes and Katherine Heigl.
First, Katie. One KT BFF cleverly pointed out that Katie’s hair makes her look like a spitting image of Anna Wintour, a woman in her 60s. If you don’t agree, then please click here to then agree with me:
It’s a brilliant point and honestly, why does she have this look?
But really – if I have to listen to her talk in some wimpy, whispery strange voice ONE MORE TIME about how amazing Cruise is and how madly in love they are and how perfect Suri is, I’m going to need to be hooked up to an IV because I’ll be so dehydrated from all the puking in my mouth.
Give us all a freaking break. Why hasn’t she received the memo that when one gushes incessantly about the perfection of their life and husband, it becomes increasingly more obvious to the rest of the world that it’s all bullshit? How about a normal tempered response every once in a while like “Sometimes it’s hard juggling all the travel and work schedules with Suri and Tom.” Or something honest.
And then her outfits. Why the need to always only dress like Royalty? She has a toddler, for the love of God, dress like you are chasing after a kid. Just once, I’d like to see her wearing flats if she can’t resort to sneakers, and jeans – actually being a mom – chasing after her kid, instead of these ridiculous 4 inch heels and thousand dollar pants at the zoo or while shopping. It makes no sense to me.
Her borderline anorexia also makes little sense to me.
And finally, get rid of Suri’s bottle. Why does a 21 month old still have a bottle? That’s just embarrassing.
Now, you might wonder why I can no longer stand Katherine Heigl? I used to like her just fine. I didn’t mind her when she stuck up for T.R. Knight and defended his homosexuality. But then she just started taking it all too far. She just seems so self-righteous and preachy any more. The constant interviews with her over this new movie are really wearing on me, kind of like Seinfeld and that ridiculous Bee Movie.
One KT BFF pointed out that Heigl was happy to make millions off “Knocked Up” but is quick to criticize the movie for being anti-feminist. Well then, don’t star in it, but you don’t get to become a millionaire from the movie and then criticize the role.
Do one or the other, sister.
And my final rant on this cold February morning is Trista. First of all, why is this woman given a platform? She is not a celebrity. She has no talent. She is attractive and was on reality TV many years ago. I just don’t understand why she continues to be given attention and magazine covers. If you didn’t see it, then you might want to just keep it that way because your life will be better, but here’s Trista’s latest cover story. I’m so sick of these stories.
I would like to end on a positive note, however. In case you missed this in all the other celeb news this week, Salma Hayek is up to some good. She is one of my favorite new celeb moms and she just really nailed it with her announcement that she is working with Pampers and UNICEF as a spokeswoman to help promote vaccinations against tetanus for pregnant women and babies in Asia and Africa. Salma rules. We need more celeb moms like her.