Kitty Time

Motherhood, babies, life, celebrities, politics…kitty’s claws come out when she’s in the mood.

Boo! October 31, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 1:36 pm

It is with great sadness that I wish you all a Happy Halloween…

Why so sad, you wonder?

Because after a month of anticipation and build-up, it will all be over with tomorrow. You’ve read my entries before on how much my darling daughter has grown to love this holiday and honestly, her obsession has just grown over the course of the past month. A whole new part of her personality has come out this month and its just been more fun than ever with her.

What has surprised me the most is how much she loves the super scary, creepy parts about Halloween. Like enormous monsters with flashing red eyes hanging in front of a neighbors house. It might send chills up my spine as I avert my eyes…but not my daughter….she is pointing and laughing and jumping out of her stroller shouting “MONSTER!!!” as she soaks it all in.

It is hilarious. But kind of strange. Some of you might have heard that she was stalking a tween boy at a Halloween party because he was dressed up like a scary Skeleton.

Her other prey was a kid dressed up in that creepy costume from “Scream” (yes, also part of famous artwork but I’m too lazy to look up the artist). Again, she will be 2 in a few weeks. Its really unexpected.

Last night we carved the pumpkin after she went to sleep and had it all set up for when she came down this morning. We kept the lights off and had the pumpkin lit in the kitchen so when she walked in, she’d see her first jack-o-lantern. Her reaction was anything but luke warm.

She started dancing and laughing and pointing and saying “Pumpkin! Happy Halloween! Pumpkin!” as her Halloween dance continued in front of the pumpkin.

And so, it is with great sadness that I face down November 1st. All the Halloween decorations will be put away, all the witches and goblins and ghosts will return to their resting place, and I have no idea how I will explain their absence to her. Meanwhile I am soliciting ideas on how to make pilgrims, Indians and turkeys just as exciting.

Have a Happy Halloween today kittens…and have so much fun with your little ones tonight in their costumes!  

Here’s hoping I don’t find too much solace in left-over Halloween candy tonight, as I mourn the passing of this great holiday……


Baby Bump, Baby Weight October 29, 2007

Filed under: Celebrities,Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 6:30 pm

A quick glance at myself as I cruised past a full-view mirror at the office today revealed that if I were a celeb, the gossip rags would all be suspicious that I am preggo. Seems that maybe where my skirt hits my belly with a shorter cardigan on top, it might not be the most flattering look. At least from the side. I’m always pretty from the front (and the back), they say…

The quick mirror glance followed by reading up on the most current issues of People and US got me thinking. And mad. Shocker.

First, one of them is speculating that Katie Holmes is preggo again. Let’s be clear – she’s my least fav celeb mom, she seems way more preoccupied with her hair and her couture clothing than she does with her child.

Yeah yeah, bite me with “You don’t know what happens behind closed doors,” I’m catty. And seeing Katie Holmes in a park in Germany “chasing” after her toddler in like 6 inch heels, following her stint on the Mediterranean this summer in a one-piece and heels on the beach with Suri in tow, makes me cringe. I’d much rather see Jenny Garner tooling around NYC in sneakers with Violet in tow.

But setting all that aside, Katie Holmes’ suspected “baby bump” was hardly that. Hell, I am looking 36 weeks preggo in comparison to her bump (no, I’m not pregnant. nor do I want to be right now). Then the next shot is one of her in one of those “baby doll” dresses only further feeding the fire of speculation (those dresses  fall into the same category as empire waist for me – why wear stuff that seems like maternity wear unless you are preggo?).

I’m left wondering – does it feel crappy to have the world speculate that you are pregnant when you are not pregnant (unless she is)? I mean – no matter how thin you are, it really can’t feel good.

Which brings me back to that age-old rant about celebs and taking off the baby weight. Recall how hideous Jamie Pressly was at the Emmys with her talk of the cabbage detox diet and working out mere days after the birth of her child.

Hello….La La land…this is reality calling…and it doesn’t work out like that for the rest of us “normal folk.”

So then I read the interview with Trista from the Bachelorette, and while I question her being a “celebrity” and worthy of front page People exposure, at least she gets herself out there. But the US cover story on Trista losing her baby weight by the New Year REALLY pissed me off.

The way she’s going about losing it seems normal enough. Her son is 3 months old, she only has that last horrid 10 pounds to go and she did talk about the importance of eating healthy and enough food for her son and breastfeeding. SO that’s great. But she also sounded psycho. She mouths off about how fat and unattractive she is, how much she doesn’t think her husband wants her, meanwhile she weighs like 116 pounds and is a size 4.

And she spends A LOT of time talking about how she can barely look at herself in the mirror.

Excuse me while I go wipe some vomit from my mouth…..

OK – so again – I realize that Trista is not a celebrity by KT’s standards but the sad truth is that she’s likely to be some young tween’s role model. I can assure you, she will not be my child’s role model but hell, she’s just coming on 2, so who knows. The bottom line is that young, impressionable girls read these mags. Just like sleep deprived, heavier than normal, hormonal new mommy’s are probably reading this magazine, and to read that just over 110 pounds and a size 4 just 3 months after giving birth, or ever quite frankly, is disgusting and foul and warrants husband reassurance that she is sexy – is pathetic.

Even if I didn’t have a daughter, I’d still be mouthing off at this. I’m not suggesting that Trista’s words should have been edited, I’m suggesting that Trista should have edited herself before saying it in such a public, influential space (ha ha, yes, I just called US “influential” – ha ha). And if Trista is too caught up in her own pathetic insecure body image to censor and control herself in an interview, then US Weekly should have included one of their “inset boxes” with an “expert” talking about how that is a very healthy and small weight.


I am, of course, fired up.


A Quick KT Fix October 25, 2007

Filed under: Celebrities,Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 4:03 pm

I am so boring lately Kittens. I swear, the past two weeks between the health care crisis followed by my childcare crisis have just taken everything out of me. Now that my life is back to “normal” I think I just need some time to just decompress.

But – see – I know how you long for me. I know how you get to work and quickly log onto KT to get a piece of me….and then you feel all deflated when there is no new news from me. I know. I know. It is so sad and difficult to face down a day without a piece of moi, isn’t it?

And so it is with you in mind, sweet kittens, that I am going to reveal how boring I am and just banter on about random things today, just to give you a KT Fix. I know you need it. I’m an addiction.

C’est vrai. I hear that all the time and I’m still blushing.

So with that, I’ll reveal the inner-workings of my mind…..what does KT think about when she is tired?

Well, for one, I continue to love Tina Fey and 30 Rock. You might recall an earlier posting from probably last year on an Ode to Tina Fey. Well, I continue to love her. I think 30 Rock is better this season than last season. I absolutely love how no one is safe, every issue is tackled and all in a self-deprecating way. I love how they mock weight issues, mock themselves and their own personal lives, mock competitive behavior at work, infidelity, you name it – they cover it and with such good humor on that show.

And how about Tina Fey’s American Express Commercial – do you love it as much as I do? It just makes me love her more.

Beyond worshipping Tina Fey, I am overly curious about Britney and KFed’s parenting classes:

Honestly – what do they cover in that class? Does Britney listen? Will anyone advise her to lose the gum on the red carpet when she debuts her new album? Can you really take the WT Southern out of the girl? I don’t think so.

These are the things I wonder about. I’m brilliant, I know.

What other things am I wondering about? Well, I wonder why my breasts didn’t look like Halle Berry’s when I was pregnant:

Though I will admit that she continues to annoy the crap out of me for stating out loud that she thinks she won’t need maternity clothes until the 9th month of her pregnancy. I really can’t stand comments like that, even coming from the exquisite Halle Berry. It’s like a smack in the face to everyone else who needs them by 6 months, including her fellow stars. We all know she’s fooling herself but does she honestly believe that the rest of us just suck at pregnancy and getting fat – but she is above it – and therefore will be the only person around that won’t need the clothes before the final weeks? Sure, empire waist is a trend now but still Halle. Get with it.

Which brings me to another thing I think about when tired, or when shopping. This trend in empire waist tops. Why? Why? I wonder. WHY are people wearing clothing that is really meant for preggos? And WHY would you wear something that makes others wonder if you are pregnant?

Honestly. Not many people can pull off that look and maybe I still have an aversion to anything that remotely resembles maternity wear even though it’s been two years but still….enough with the empire waist.

And finally, while we are on the topic of maternity wear, I am feeling annoyed that JLo just won’t announce her pregnancy. At first it made sense to me and seemed like the cautious, conservative thing to do – keep it mum. I would have done the same. But now it’s just getting ridiculous!

With that kittens……I’ve revealed my deep thoughts and given you just the KT Fix I know you needed to support your habit and keep you coming back for more…..


Call Me Mommy October 22, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood,Nanny — Wired_Momma @ 3:49 pm

I have a general rule of thumb for myself with the blog. When I realize that I’ve been thinking about something for more than a few days, I conclude it is blogging material.

I mean – if I’m chewing on something for so long and it’s keeping my attention – then surely you will too, right? Right.

So here goes.

A few weeks ago, my nanny mentioned that her friend, who is also a nanny, was in trouble with her employer. Let’s call her Nanny X. She watches Baby J during the day.

Seems that Baby J has taken to referring to the Nanny as Mommy X. That’s right, calling the nanny “Mommy” followed by the Nanny’s name. Now I don’t know about you but that would set me OFF if I caught my daughter referring to our nanny as “Mommy X.”

I mean – it’s tough enough to leave the house on the mornings where it feels like she likes the nanny more than me – but that would put me over the deep end.

A friend of mine once joked that we all needed to back away from our HR Offices one morning – a few of us were having trouble juggling motherhood and working and were probably threatening to quit……and I can say with certainty that I would need to be told to back away from my HR dept if I heard my daughter referring to our Nanny as “Mommy X.”

Wouldn’t you?

So, my nanny and I discussed this situation. She went on to point out that her friend doesn’t tell the boy to call her Mommy X. In fact, apparently the nanny corrects him and reminds him just of her name when he does so, but he is just over 2 and well, he says what he wants.

Or how he feels, according to my nanny.

She then went on to just say that the nanny spends more time with Baby J than anyone else and like in other situations she has seen, Baby J has gotten so attached to the nanny that it feels natural for the child to refer to her as Mommy X.

See, KT over here, I’m not buying a ticket on that bus. I’m not replaceable, I am the only Mommy and I’m the one that brought the child into the world, nurses her to health at 3am and provides for her at every turn. I am the mommy and am not sharing that title with ANYONE.

I’m pretty sure the mother of this little boy felt the same way because this Nanny was in the DOG HOUSE.

I pushed my nanny on it a bit more, asking her if it would bother her if her kids referred to someone else as “Mommy,” to which she replied “No.”

Again, surprised. Was she just more comfortable in her role as a mother than me? Was she just more confident than me? I wondered.

So off I went, for a few days, and thought about it. I thought about how many hours my daughter spends with the nanny, I thought about how many hours she spends with me, I might have been spotted loitering outside the HR department of my office a few times, just sort of lurking in the shadows cast off by the cubicles.

But I also thought about something my nanny said and something my friends and I have said, mainly in regards to our in-laws.

First what KT’s friends say. We believe “you get what you give” – you give a lot, you get a lot. You don’t give much, well then, you don’t get much.

The nanny’s believe that as well because they also work in households where the parents just aren’t around as much, where the nanny is tending to the child from early morning until bed time. They might even be the one that is there when the child is sick. So for them, to be called “mommy” is just a natural extension of what they are doing. They don’t encourage it but they can see why it’s happening.

A few more days passed and then I went to a birthday party…..and noticed that there were NANNIES present at the birthday party.

Which was held on a Saturday.

Naturally I was busily judging those mothers and wondering why in the hell they needed to drag their nanny out on a Saturday to attend a child’s birthday party with them? I mean – for real?

That following Monday, I made a comment in passing to my Nanny about this and she looked at me, smiled, and said “Now you know why the little boy calls my friend Mommy.”

For once, I was pretty much speechless. Because – is she right?

I mean, you get what you give. Don’t you?


Paging Dr. House October 17, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 2:59 pm

Kittens –

I have been MIA for about a week for good reason…and you’re about to hear why.

Last Wednesday my daughter spiked a fever of about 104. I took her to the pediatrician on Friday and the doc’s best guess was she had a virus. So off we go. She appeared better on Friday afternoon and Saturday, though she still had a fever, it was much lower.

Then Sunday morning struck and all hell broke loose, it felt. Her fever was back up over 104, even after Motrin and Tylenol. The best word for her temperament was impossible, for which I am grateful for because it is when they are so sick that they are listless that I really worry. But we know the impossible sick temperament is no Sunday walk in the park. Additionally, in this condition, she only wanted me. Of course I don’t blame her, I’d want me too, but these scenarios mean that brushing your teeth is next to impossible.

By noon on Monday we were back in the pediatricians office only to be told to take her immediately to the Emergency Room, her white blood cell count was “alarmingly high but not quite leukemia high.”

It is at that point that I go into breakdown mode. But see, I was also really grateful for many conversations I’d had with a dear friend concerning bad news at the doctor’s office. I’ve been fortunate in my life so far, the first time I received alarming news in a doctor’s office was towards the end of my pregnancy and I went into shut down mode. The doctor talking mine as well have been Charlie Brown’s mother because all I could hear is “Wah Wah Wah.”

My friend apparently goes into stoic mode when this happens to her. She puts all her energy into showing the doctor no emotion and remaining so calm that she ends up with the same result as me. Doc sounding like Charlie Brown’s mother.

So on Monday when I started going into shut down mode, I recalled these conversations we’d had and it amazed me how helpful it was. It was like I could think clearly enough to just tell the doctor that I needed to write down everything she was saying should happen at the hospital because I would never remember. Once again, the necessity of having great mom friends really came through for me.

At the hospital my sweet girl had to endure having a catheter put in, lots of needles for blood-work and an IV. There really aren’t words to describe what it’s like to see this happen to your child. Before we were sent home, all the doctor knew was what she didn’t have and pumped her with antibiotics through the IV for 30 minutes and said I had to take her back to the pediatrician on Tuesday.

The thing is, along the way, I kept thinking I was reaching my breaking point and then something else would happen and it’s like I could reach into this vast well of patience and energy to keep charging forward. I mean, by Monday morning after five days of illness and little sleep and seeing her so sick, my stress level and exhaustion level were through the roof. I thought I was at the end of my rope. But think again, I found quite a lot more rope en route to the hospital and forgot that I was anywhere near the end of it.

After a difficult night and early start to Tuesday, I would say I was officially at breaking point and really didn’t think I could endure another visit to the pediatrician. My sweet little girl had been through so much poking, prodding and doctors that it just seemed like enough.

But off we went, me and darling daughter, to the pediatricians office on Tuesday. En route, I was anxious about telling her where we were going because I thought she would get really upset. Instead, she perked up and said “Doctor? Pumpkins? Monster pumpkins?” and got really excited.

You got it, they have pumpkins with monster faces at the doctor’s office. It seems that’s all that matters to my sweet little one. And that reaction gave me the extra rope I needed to handle this last hurdle. Ironic that my child helped me out in the midst of all of this.

After sitting through a doctor using words like “alarming” again, I finally learned what has been making her so sick. It only took three doctors and the ER to piece it all together. She has a bacterial infection in her bloodstream. It is uncommon and we will never know the origins of it, though you better believe it’s driving me nuts not knowing how she got it.

If she had gotten it 30 years ago, it would turn into meningitis or pneumonia but today there are antibiotics strong enough to fight it off. And further proof that we all need to be thankful for vaccinations this Thanksgiving, she has been vaccinated for pneumonia, meningitis and bloodstream infections and without those vaccines, what would happen to her is unspeakable.

As for me, my same stoic friend and I were having a conversation yesterday afternoon about what sickness does to the moms. I think you only really know once your child has been sick, I know that dad’s are stressed as well, but we handle the brunt of it. First of all, they seem to only want mommy, which is a wonderful feeling but it is beyond demanding and taxing. More importantly, seeing them so sick and being powerless to make them better is the true cause of stress, I think anyway. It is hideous. And then of course, for us, not just the ER visit but the unknown of what she had and the confusion amongst the doctors was like last straw for me.

All that matters though is that my sweet little girl is on the mend and everything feels right in the world for me again.


The Brits are at it again October 10, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 2:18 pm

If you are an avid follower of pop culture, like moi, surely you know that many of the successful reality shows we have here in the States, originated in England. In fact, England is home to some of the more fascinating and strange TV I’ve ever seen, and having grown up overseas, I’ve seen a lot of international television.

A particular TV highlight for me was living in Indonesia in my formative teen years. We were totally removed from pop culture at the time, which was the late 80s. In retrospect, that might have been a saving grace because no one really heralds that time for high fashion, though somehow I still managed to tight roll my jeans. Anyhow, each week we were given about 15 minutes of American programming. It was the Cosby Show, which might explain my ongoing affinity for the show and the fact that I watched it – a lot – on maternity leave. And still find the show to be highly amusing, for the record.

But see, we never saw the ending of the show because it was always interrupted to bring you the latest call to prayer from the local Mosque.

Like I said, I’m pretty much an expert on what happens with TV overseas.

So back to the British, they’re at it again and you heard it here first, I guarantee we get a show like this in the States in the next five years. They’ve started a reality show called “Bringing Up Baby” and it follows a few couples home for the first (horrid) three months with their newborn. Each one is given a parenting coach, essentially, who specializes in three different parenting styles: the Dr. Spock “follow intuition,” the really intense Scheduling method and then Attachment Parenting.

I don’t know about you, but personally, I’m a mix of Dr. Spock and Scheduling – and wouldn’t respond well being forced to any of these extremes. It surely makes for FANTASTIC TV, however. I mean – get a weepy new mom in a room with a bossy parenting “expert” and a fussing child and it’s like a train wreck and surely no one can avert their eyes. Not to mention, I can only imagine how much the viewership of the show enjoys judging these parents and gabbing about them the next day. It’s a network’s wet dream, I’m sure.

I spent a little time on the show’s site and ended up really enjoying the quiz they offer for you to learn just how much you’re screwing up your kids. It’s totally British and something I wonder if the anal corporate lawyers over here would squash but my favorite answer options were all “C.” Here’s an example:

“At your kid’s first teen party, you should:

c. Get slaughtered and show the young ‘uns your moonwalk.”

Like I said, HILARIOUS.

Go ahead, take the quiz and see how you fare:


It’s just your hormones October 8, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood,Work — Wired_Momma @ 3:23 pm

Yes, hearing and reading that actually makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

A few weeks ago, Business Week featured a “case study” online about a woman returning to work after maternity leave.

Apparently the scenario includes a boss that seems distant and a new mom unsure of how to handle the situation. Is she being treated differently because she is a mother? Is her boss upset that she no longer can put in the same long hours in the office as she did before she had a baby, even if she finishes her work at home later at night? What should she do?

It’s a scenario that’s all-too familiar to most of us and so I read it with some optimism, perhaps we would be given some productive tips on how to handle this delicate and complicated situation. After-all, returning to work from maternity leave is a big step for all of us. We realize that after many years of being dedicated to our careers, suddenly we might not be quite as dedicated anymore. Suddenly we have this living, breathing, adorable bundle at home who needs us and the importance of our work can be called into question.

As we are grappling with these very real and very big issues, sometimes we also have to grapple with the response of our boss and co-workers to the new us. While I generally despise all media commentary on working and motherhood, I read on with interest.

Until I came to a screeching halt and yelped out in anger and shock. It was almost like my computer shut down and I was no longer reading a case study but rather I was suddenly strapped into my chair and being force fed the blithering hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh.

You see Kittens, the “expert” that Business Week used in this scenario (that has my claws out and really sharpened) goes on to suggest that it’s likely that it might not be the woman’s boss who is behaving differently….in fact…it could just be the new mom’s “hormones.”


That is my censored and highly intelligent response.

In other words, BITE ME “HR Consultant.” Here is the exact quote in case you think I’m making this up or am being dramatic, as I’m known to be from time-to-time:

“Maybe it’s not her boss that’s changed; it’s her. “I’ve seen problems caused by hormonal changes in a new mother,” says Lee.”

Have we suddenly been set back 50 years by this suggestion, or is it me? 

Time after time, what we are given by the media is just a bunch of ridiculous drama that doesn’t seem to do us any good. We are hormonal, we are damaging our kids by putting them in daycare, we are failing future generations of women by stepping out of the workforce and instead staying home with our kids, and on and on and on. Blah blah blah.

As you might recall, I actually put forth a ban on gabbing about these ridiculous media stories but this one, I couldn’t resist.

It’s just your hormones, kittens, get a hold of yourself. Right?