Kitty Time

Motherhood, babies, life, celebrities, politics…kitty’s claws come out when she’s in the mood.

Ode to Tina Fey March 30, 2007

Filed under: Celebrities,Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 1:21 pm

Good morning spring kittens –

I hope you all have wonderful weekend plans. Tomorrow is the great day of my birth. I will be turning 25. It’s true. And I’m also quite sure that my husband will rejoice in celebrating the day of my birth from sun-up to sun-down. I’m certain that he’ll awaken me with a delicious breakfast in bed and the spoiling and treats will continue from there, throughout the day. I’m certain that everything I’m saying today is truth.

But really, I’m not going to make today’s entry about moi. I think we’ve had enough of that for one week. Instead, I’d like to make today’s entry a celebration of one of the coolest working mom’s out there today, Tina Fey.

Indeed, she is definitely someone I’d love to have drinks with. As I’m sure you all know, she writes and stars in NBC’s successful “30 Rock” – which is a hilarious show. Surely you kittens tune in, if not, you really should:

http://www.nbc.com/30_Rock/

Prior to that, she was the first female head writer on SNL. Of course there’s her hilarious movie hit “Mean Girls” that I’m really sure you’ve all seen. Should I keep going? And on top of it all, she is a mom. Anyone else catch her during the NBC Christmas Tree lighting show back in December, standing up there next to Al Roker, holding her sweet baby girl? Love her. She is hilarious, smart, famous, and a working mom.

I trolled the web for some interesting interviews with Fey and was a little disappointed that there isn’t more out there. Tina, if you’re reading, which I’m sure you are, we’d love to interview you here at KT. Anyhoo, I did find one interesting article, including excerpts of her acceptance speech in 2005 of the NY Women in Film and Television awards:

————————

Fey and her husband, “SNL” musician Jeff Richmond, recently had a baby daughter, Alice Zenobia, and Fey began her acceptance speech by telling the audience that, as the mother of a three-month-old, “it’s an honor to be anywhere, actually, and a deep, deep privilege to be wearing a bra and shoes.”

—————-

For anyone who’s been on maternity leave, I think we can all see just how funny that comment is. I was lucky to get out the door in something that remotely matched when my daughter was 3 months old, I can’t imagine having to accept an award in front of other celebs. Would have been my personal nightmare.

Anyway, here’s a link to the full piece, if you’d care to read more about super cool Tina Fey:

http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/broadsheet/2005/12/13/tina_fey/print.html

Bon Weekend kittens! And Happy Birthday to me!

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Playground Politics March 29, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 4:55 pm

Sorry for my slow posting today, it’s been a busy day.  I also was feeling quite uninspired on blog topics, particularly after I imposed a self ban on certain subjects and so, I sorta stonewalled myself.

For those of you who have the honor and glory of knowing moi quite well, you know that I do these things. I make big bold declarations and then sometimes contradict myself….or regret it later. But I digress. Enough about moi.

So yesterday I was home with darling daughter for various reasons. It was a lovely spring day, we had done some baby shower shopping and spring toddler clothing shopping, and felt that the best way to show off darling daughter’s new duds were with a trip to the park. She could cruise around the playground in her spring must-haves for toddlers while simultaneously wearing herself out in prep for bed time.

Ahh, the sweet life of a 16 month old. Give her some swing time and a few random dogs to wave to and life is fantastic. Add in some cheese or a strawberry, and it’s like winning the lottery.

Normally one would think that I can’t find trouble at the swings.

But well, if you think that, then you also haven’t met me. Allow me to, once again, introduce myself.

Dear kitten, I am KittyTime. There’s a reason I have a red headed daughter. It’s nature’s way of giving my mom the pleasure of watching me experience all that I’ve put her through. It’s also nature’s way of allowing my husband, sisters, dad, and other dear close friends to watch her torture me and lecture me and make big bold declarations – just as I have done to them over the years. C’est vrai. But see, I know this and I’m prepared. But the other thing about moi is this – trouble seems to just sorta follow me.

Could it be that I look for it?

Sure, if I’m in a bad mood.

But I swear, it just sorta happens. And it can even happen at the baby swings.

Now, c’est vrai, yesterday was just a little ruffling of my feathers. The only reason I didn’t really unleash is because there was some kind of mommy playgroup happening on the playground and the children all appeared to be the same age as my daughter, so I quickly discerned that if we remained living in our neighborhood, I would likely come across these women again in the near future..and well….far be it from MOI to make a bad first impression.

Though I was not the notorious swing offender of Spring 2007.

It was my enemy. We weren’t even FRENEMIES. She was immediately my mom-enemy. My Mo’nemy.

Allow me to paint a picture.

Beautiful warm spring afternoon. Flowers blooming, trees budding, dogs roaming, children laughing, mom’s gossiping at the park. It’s suburbia, kids. There’s a little diversity. There’s a few unwanted tree branches. There are a few poorly dressed kids but other than that, we’re not Wisteria Lane, but we’re doing just fine.

So, me and darling daughter arrive to the park and note that both baby swings are occupied. We all know that the unspoken rule of baby swings is much like the gym during gym rush hour. Don’t over stay your limit. If you’ve been pushing your sweet cherub for a respectable amount of time,  say 10 minutes, and someone else comes along and clearly wants to put their snot-nosed twerp in the swing, then you remove yours and move on.

Well, not my mo’nemy. Mais non! She had one toddler in the swing and then her baby in the stroller watching. There was another random baby in the other swing. So, we entertained ourselves a while, the second swing freed up and before I could sweep in, my Mo’nemy put her baby in the second swing.

I thought, ok, fair enough. Perhaps she’s been waiting a while and I’m not going to complain. If she wants to push the baby for a few minutes while she finishes out her toddler’s swing, then we’ll head over to the slides.

Of course, moving away from the swings implies you’ve then surrendered your place in line. It’s like inadvertently crossing your name off the treadmill list at 6:30pm on a random Tuesday night.

Without boring you with all the details of playground gate, what follows is a lesson in playground politics, and shockingly, I played the role of Switzerland.

After some time at the slides, some more time admiring some UNLEASHED dogs from afar, and then flirting with some twin boys in a wagon, including my daughter’s attempted theft of the unsuspecting toddler boy’s sippy cup (if you have a drink it’s fair game for her, consider yourself warned), me and darling daughter made our way back over to the swings. We’d been in the periphery of the swings the whole time, and I’d been shooting “Get your damn kid out of the swing” looks to my Mo’nemy the whole time. Easily a half hour. I’m sure you can picture it. Subtle is never a word one would use to describe moi.

At this point, I’d had enough, so I busted the classic “If you don’t get away from the swings now, I might yell at you” move. I went to the bigger kid swings and held darling daughter on my lap, so we could swing, meanwhile I GLARED at my Mo’nemy the entire time with a genuine look of horror, contempt and disdain.

I really couldn’t believe how selfish she was. Even worse, how could she not care about my nasty looks?

Again, for those of you that know me, I didn’t call her out on her bad form only because there were so many other mom’s there that I don’t yet know. And well, even KT has to keep up some appearances of being sweet and well, motherly. Even when by wearing my sassy Lilly Allen tshirt, it would imply otherwise.

My Mo’nemy did eventually leave the swings but not because several people were waiting, I think it was merely because she was done.

Maybe she was just a mom having a bad day with her two kids and the swings were her only reprieve.

Maybe.

But in the tough world of playground politics, who’s to say she’s the only one feeling that way, and the rest of us didn’t also need that swing break?

Next time, she’ll hear from me.

 

Collective Protest March 28, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 1:14 pm

If you are one of these people, then today’s posting is for you:

1. A single or married gal that someday plans to have children

2. Pregnant

3. Already a mom

Then read on.

Some of you might be wondering why I didn’t blog about the news du jour on Monday – the big “childcare” story that every major newspaper and network station covered.

I’ll tell you why I didn’t cover it.

Because it was STUPID.

What in the hell are we supposed to think when all these outlets come out with sensational headlines about a “major” news study that basically informs us all that our children COULD have behavioral issues if we leave them in the care of someone else, including grandparents.

Seriously, kittens. Seriously. Have all the editors and producers out there lost their minds as well?

I’ve decided that all of the “news” stories that include such BS topics, as follows, really chap my ass:

1. Stay-at-home moms vs. Working Moms.

2. Behavioral risks of putting your child in any kind of daycare beyond MOM.

3. Quality time spent with children now, particularly with more women working fulltime, and any kind of comparison to how it was in the past or predictions on the future.

I mean – each week it seems we are bombarded with some new kind of “study” that – far as I can tell – reveals no helpful news, provides no solutions to any of our national issues like WHY most families need to have two working parents (healthcare, skyrocketing mortgage prices, high price of college tuition, should I continue?) – all these stories do is basically remind us, once again, that we allegedly aren’t doing enough or our kids are screwed if we’re not home 24/7.

We all know that KT is a guilt-free zone. I’m also a realist. I’m here to tell you that each of these major outlets are all lemmings, following these crazy and stupid stories, because of the dramatic headlines that are sure to grasp everyone’s attention and send us all emailing links to the stories, talking about it, and otherwise generating revenue for the outlet publishing the story.

Which brings me to my point on this fine spring Wednesday morning, I am asking all of you to collectively boycott these kinds of stories from this point forward for the REST OF TIME.

DO NOT email MOI about them.

Certainly don’t post a reply or link to KT to any of them. If you do, I will ban you from my blog.

Don’t read the story on the publication’s web site.

Certainly don’t email links to your friends of the story, thereby helping it become the “most viewed” story on the publication’s site, thereby confirming that they should continue with these kinds of pieces.

Change the channel on such morning news programs, like the Today Show, when they inevitably do a piece on it. Don’t go read about it on their web sites.

Don’t blog about it except to hate on it.

And if you feel really motivated, write a letter-to-the editor of the publication condemning them for doing no good and presenting us with no news.

Are we all on board with this plan, kittens? I think we’ve all had enough.

 

Single Girl & The City March 27, 2007

Filed under: Fashion,Motherhood — Wired_Momma @ 1:50 pm

Hello Kittens –

Miss moi yesterday? I am back from my quick business trip and I have to admit, it was such a treat to see some dear friends on the trip, visit with one dear friend’s adorable baby son, and have a long fabulous dinner out with the girls, followed by more drinks. I felt like a single gal, living it up on a school night, once again. And it was fun.

Our dinner conversation and late night bar conversation led to some interesting blogging topics, though. Surely a few too many glasses of wine and way too much food will lead to such things. And so, gather round spring kittens, and let’s revisit some of the deep thoughts of Kitty Time’s friends in a city far far away from here…….

We reflected upon the exciting news of pregnancy, expecting parenthood, and being single in the city. I think we’ve all talked about the irony of how many years we spent trying to NOT get pregnant and all the time on birth control pills, or using other forms of it, only to later have friends who keep trying and trying and trying again every month to conceive to no avail. The irony of it is so thick and really so unjust.  I’m sure if you are a dear KT reader, you have had this same conversation with some of your friends.

But then, one KT friend pointed out that now that she is a single gal living it up in the city, she has a very successful career, she has the financial means and the emotional maturity to be a mom – but she is still single and well, doesn’t want to be a mom yet – but she is very aware of the ethical dilemma she would face if she did get pregnant now. She pointed out that if it happened in her younger years, she figured it would likely lead to terminating the pregnancy. If it happened now, however, how could she – of financial means and emotional strength – terminate a pregnancy? She said it’s something that she is very cognizant of and it really struck me. She feels as though the situation would be more complicated and more emotional than if it happened as a horny teen on spring break.

Being a friend of mine, however, the conversation didn’t stay serious for very long and we quickly began joking about whether or not we’d all be nervous to still tell our parents we were single gals and preggo – even though we’re in our 30s and financially independent…..

And so, kittens, my life as a single gal in the city was fabulous and fun…and it really got me thinking about a scenario that I’ve really not had to play out in my head because I already have a husband and a baby from a wanted pregnancy. But I like to get everyone thinking here on KT. And it was fun to feel like just a working gal who could party on a school night again.

 

Happy Reading March 25, 2007

Filed under: Fashion,Motherhood,Politics — Wired_Momma @ 2:07 pm

Here are three stories I recommend from the Sunday papers:

Another reason to keep following the Edwards campaign, this piece might bring you to tears:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/25/us/politics/25edwards.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

For the fashion lovers out there:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/25/business/yourmoney/25sample.html?ref=business

For a good read on maternity leave and the work place:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/23/AR2007032302014.html

 

National Life Goes as Planned for Mom’s Week: The Final Act March 23, 2007

Filed under: Celebrities,Motherhood,Politics — Wired_Momma @ 2:01 pm

Bon Matin spring Cheri’s –

Here we are on the final day of our special week all for ourselves. And because we’ve spent the week focusing on ourselves and enjoying our life, with no surprises, the life where everything is working out as planned and no extra stress, me thinks the rest of the week’s news might have gotten away from you all. And far be it from a KT reader to be behind today’s news, so with that, I will bring you the week’s roundup, and then encourage you to resume the final act of focusing on you today!

With that, let’s roll up our sleeves and begin. First, with politics.

By now, we’ve all heard that Elizabeth Edwards’ cancer is back but John is still in the campaign. All we can do is hope Elizabeth keeps up the good fight, and continue watching and admiring our boy Edwards as he stomps around the country.  But let’s get back to what the man in the White House has been up too. KT’s mom just tipped me off to a hilarious one liner Chris Rock had recently on SNL. Apparently he took the liberty of pointing out that the country is ready for a black President because we currently have a retarded one.  Indeed, hardly politically correct, but any slam against the President is a funny one for moi.

And no where else is the President’s inability to be a leader more evident than in the current Gonzales scandal. For anyone who’s keeping track, apparently this is just another example of the President and his lemmings (or rather, Rove and his lemming, the President) casting aside good government employees because they disagree with the Administration. This might not be a democracy according to our President. But the way it is playing out is classic Bush Playbook Strategy. KT has received an exclusive glimpse into the aforementioned Playbook:

1. If any high powered government employee (CIA Agent, Ambassadors, Federal Prosecutors) disagrees with our President, fire, maim or eliminate them immediately.  

2. If the public or Congress dare challenge this decision, make sure President comes out in full support of the Cabinet Secretary who oversees said fired employee, while maintaining that like everything else in his life, he just had no idea what was going on.

3. Then make sure that someone else is fired to hope it cleans up the mess. It doesn’t matter who the fall guy is, so long as it’s not Rove or Cheney. No one cares if Gonzales, Plame or Libby are outed or sent to jail, so long as the Three Kings are safe. (Bush, Rove and Cheney).

 Kittens, I can’t tell you where I got this information from, but it’s a confirmed White House source close to the President, I swear. It’s true. And on that note, you heard it here first, Gonzales will quietly step down during Easter Recess.

But enough on politics. How about some celeb gossip?

Back to Brit. She is out of rehab, KFed took her sons to see her, and apparently the details of their divorce settlement are leaking and KFed is set to get somewhere between $1-$9 million:  http://www.trent.blogspot.com/

If you are a millionairess – be sure to hire Brit’s lawyer to set up your prenup, is really the best lesson we can all take away from this.

Angie’s plane landed safely back in LA yesterday and we can all continue to wonder why Zahara and Maddox got to go with her to Vietnam to pick up Pax, but Shiloh was forced to stay back with her daddy. One wonders, does Angie even really like Shiloh? I think she’s discovered that she finds babies boring and prefers toddlers. Particularly toddlers that didn’t come out of her.

http://www.splashnewsonline.com/2007/03/22/angelina-jolie-gives-a-new-life-for-pax-thien/

For those of you who love Leo, rumors are that he’s off the market. I, for one, can’t stand the guy. I think he looks like a greasy 16 year old but some fans have informed me that I’ll change my mind once I see “The Departed.”

http://perezhilton.com/topics/leonardo_dicaprio/headline_of_the_week_weak_20070322.php

And finally, it seems that Desperate Housewive’s hottie Jesse Metcalf is joining the rest of young Hollywood in the new catwalk, he’s entered into rehab:

 http://www.nypost.com/seven/03222007/gossip/pagesix/private_rehab_for_metcalfe_pagesix_.htm

I think he should log onto: www.b4udrink.org and learn a few things. Or maybe he will sign up to be the new hot driver of the sweet educational van on this very important site.

And finally, back to the week of celebrating ourselves and no surprises, the USA Today includes this snapshot in today’s paper that might make us all feel a little warm and fuzzy inside:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/snapshot.htm?section=M&label=2007-03-23-income

And with that, kittens, I trust you will have a wonderful weekend, I hope you have Baby Happy Hour plans lined up for this evening, and don’t feel down on Monday morning when you log on and find nothing new from moi….KT has to do a bit of work travel….so be patient, and know that I will have something extra special for you by Tuesday.

Kisses.

 

National Mom’s Week: Working Girls March 22, 2007

Filed under: Motherhood,Politics — Wired_Momma @ 2:39 pm

Good morning spring kittens –

I hope you have been busily celebrating yourself and your week of no extra surprises, now that we are more than half way through. Fret not, kittens, the beauty of coining our own week is that we can bring it back whenever we want.

So, first, surely you took some time this morning to breathe out any anger. You reflected on how we are a guilt-free zone here at KittyTime, and you relished in the joys your children bring you. 

Before we can get to the theme of today’s entry: no surprises at work – we must first take a minute to think about the Edwards campaign. As loyal fans of KT probably know, yours truly believes that Edwards is a real leading candidate for 2008 President. It helps that he is incredibly sexy and smart, even with a Southern accent.

Surely you’ve heard him say that the health of his wife always supersedes his political ambitions and now we’re getting reports of an Edwards campaign announcement today at Noon after Elizabeth’s doctor’s visit yesterday. We will all be anxiously awaiting that announcement…and must remain positive that Mrs. Edwards is still cancer free and our beloved John is still in the campaign. Afterall, this is National Mom’s No Surprises Week – and Elizabeth Edwards deserves no surprises. And we deserve to see Edwards on TV every night during campaign season. So stay tuned.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/22/us/politics/22edwards.html?hp

Now, kittens, let’s roll up our sleeves and get to business. Today is the day where everything at work will go smoothly, no idiot coworkers will create more work for us, no bosses will berate us or ruin our days with unfair comments and no extra and tedious tasks will be thrown our way.

This one might require more time to breathe out the anger than when we are talking about our husbands. I think this is really the time for you to believe in Santa, kittens, believe that these things are possible.

Now, KittyTime is somewhat omnipotent (am I the only teen that always thinks ‘impotent’ when hearing that word and laughs like Beavis and Butthead?). So, while I am not impotent, I am omnipotent. Or am I omnipresent? Or am I making words up now?

Regardless, I know that there are bosses out there, in particular, who bring their moods to work and make inappropriate comments to hard-working and perfect employees, like moi, and you, if you are a KT reader. I also know this is a particularly egregious offense if you are a preggo. Preggo’s get special attention today because the workplace poses great stress to them during this special time. Everyone worries so much about preggos not over-exerting themselves physically, but it’s easy to forget about the mental strain that work brings to all of us, and how this extra mental strain is particularly difficult during a pregnancy.

And so preggos, I ask you to really take the time today to breathe out the anger, breathe in the positive, and build a fence around negative workplace comments. Remember that the work will get done when you are gone, you will care a whole lot less upon returning from maternity leave, and hideous bosses that are not cognizant of just how hard you work and how much pressure you put on yourself to perform while pregnant – do not deserve the emotional energy they are trying to take from you.

Breathe out the bad bosses. Breathe in the scent of a sweet baby after a warm bath. Think about their little fat rolls on their legs. And all will feel right in the world.

Also, you can read this column from the NYT on bully bosses:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/18/business/yourmoney/18CAREER.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1174573280-MiUq2KwR73C0yP94QPbdJA

Unlike yesterday’s rants about the stupid headline in the Washington Post, I LOVE the headline in that column from the NYT about bully bosses but you are not helpless.

Mais oui! It rings true with KittyTime’s philosophy. We are masters of our own destiny’s. We do not waste our time on guilt. We do not tolerate lazy husbands. And we are not helpless in difficult work situations. We are pretty and smart KT fans. We do not buy tickets on those bad buses.

So go forth today, dear readers, and remember that work life balance doesn’t really exist but you are a champion at balancing your life in the way that fulfills you and your family.

Remember that you are definitely the smartest person in your department, certainly the most stylish, and insecure bosses and coworkers do not take precious emotional energy from you.

Mais non! This is our week of no surprises and life is good. Go shopping for something fabulous in spring fashion today at lunch….more tomorrow…we will close the week by talking about ourselves! Maybe some celeb gossip, spring fashion, and whatever else yours truly is in the mood for.