Kitty Time

Motherhood, babies, life, celebrities, politics…kitty’s claws come out when she’s in the mood.

Fat Models & Astronaut in Diapers February 7, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Wired_Momma @ 2:39 pm

Dear readers –

Kitty-Time would like to apologize for the long delay in a new posting. She has been quite busy between work and other random events that have sabotaged my efforts at posting (and yes, my nanny was at it again). But gather round kittens, we have much to discuss…..

First – let’s get to some old news but it’s still worthy of posting on albeit a few days late.

Fat models.
What has the world come too?

Tyra Banks is FAT!
I bet you didn’t know it by looking at her but apparently she is.

Yes, just when I was feeling a little better about things. Just when I was beginning to have hope that some producers and Hollywood exec’s and influentials, shall we call them, were willing to hire women with healthy strong bodies – the drama about Tyra Banks and her fat body had to unfold.

I mean really.

She is a Victoria’s Secret model. She might have retired. She might have decided to have some breakfast every once in a while now. Maybe she even had a cookie or two over the holidays – I know, I know – she should have been counting out her M&M’s….but she really let herself go. She’s really tipping the scales at 160 now people.


I don’t know what else to say except I am quite sure we all are outraged at this notion, even though it’s clear Tyra is on her way to becoming the second coming of Oprah. She’s sharpening her elbows and just getting ready to shove old Oprah out of the way…and the way she capitalized on her being fat was quite brilliant.

But I digress.

So, let’s instead talk about how two Hollywood mom’s used to have beautiful, strong, athletic bodies and now also look like disgusting waifs.
Jennifer Garner.
Angelina Jolie.

What has happened? Why do they look almost as disgusting as Nicole Richie? Seriously?
Gain some weight, ladies. Apparently Tyra can show you how.

And now, onto the bizarre news of the day.

Female diaper wearing astronaut attempts to kill other women over some dumb man.


Don’t you have to be smart to become an astronaut?
Don’t you have to understand science and math and pass rigorous emotional and physical tests to go up in space? Is this another example of the Bush Administration trying to keep women down? They decided to let one slip through who is loco – just to make a public spectacle of her? It’s always possible.

Maybe all that time up in Space got to Ms. Lisa Nowak, but how is it that this woman who could have been a role model for millions of little girls, has instead, validated every psycho conservative man’s idea of why women don’t belong in serious fields and we’re all just a bunch of crazed hormonally charged killers waiting to show our true colors? All those men that listen to Rush Limbaugh are just sitting back and laughing….claiming this is what happens when a woman gets her period. Seriously.

This woman methodically planned her trip to Orlando down to the wire – let’s not forget the adult diapers. She had been stalking this poor other astronaut for months and was enraged over her as a threat to another man.

In case you are confused, Ms. Nowak is a married mother of three. I mean -huh? She just gave up everything over a man?

I am ashamed, people. ASHAMED.

Let’s all just pretend like this event never even happened and certainly never tell your daughters and admit that a female astronaut went awry. And if it ever comes up, blame Bush. But just in case you haven’t read about it – be sure to click here:

Speaking of darling daughters, in case any of you thought mine wouldn’t have an opinion and develop her skills at expressing it at a very early age, well, then, we’ve never met.

So – stranger, hello. My name is Kitty-Time, and I get fired up easily, which is why you like me. No one would ever call me a doormat to step on on your way into my house.

And so, I went on to have a daughter…and even better…a red headed one. The combo is a sure sign that she will be spirited.

And as she’s facing down her 15 month birthday, I am here to tell you, feisty and spirited, she is. Kitty-Time is bad at math, unlike the psycho female astronaut, so I actually lost count of the number of temper-tantrums my darling daughter had yesterday alone. It might have been enough to make the most level-headed female astronaut go off her rocker.

As I’m getting more used to these ridiculous..and fake, I might add, temper tantrums, I’ve been mistaken in thinking that perhaps I, too, could win an Oscar like Jennifer Hudson. I actually think my darling daughter could win an Oscar because she’s quite believable in her temper tantrums…unless you ignore them for about 30 seconds. By then she’s already forgotten what enraged her so. Apparently she also inherited my memory.

Anyhoo…my point, I’m beginning to find pleasure in her temper tantrums. It’s actually quite funny.

Check back with me in the future. I’m sure the charm will have worn off by then.


One Response to “Fat Models & Astronaut in Diapers”

  1. Anne Noel Says:

    Ah-hah! The Bush administration is at it again! That explains the diaper-wearing-wack=o astronaut.

    Also glad to hear that Emma is having tantrums as my DD had a complete and utter meltodown over the unreasonable delay in heating up her dinosaur chicken nuggets and letting them cool. By then she was crying too hard to eat them!

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