Paula & Hillary August 12, 2009

Let’s take a minute to talk about two women in the news for two different and important reasons.

First – Paula Abdul. By now we all know that Paula quit her job with American Idol and it’s apparently over a dispute regarding her salary. If you believe the reports, she was earning $2 million a year to Ryan Seacrest’s $15 million or Simon Cowell’s $38 million. Setting aside how absurd these annual salaries are, can you blame her? Sure, we can understand why Simon Cowell makes more, he is the creator of the show. But why is someone like Ryan Seacrest making so much more than Paula?

This strikes me as another example of women being grossly underpaid against men and this woman is taking a stand. Now, perhaps she was hoping the producers of the show would counter-offer with a more similarly priced salary as say Ryan, and it doesn’t seem that is happening – but still – I think what Paula is doing is important and hopefully inspiring other women to ask for more.

Now, let’s not forget that I am moderately annoyed and beyond surprised that I am blogging about Paula Abdul as a female role-model, but then again, some of my favorite things come from the grocery store, so who am I anymore?

Moving on.

Hillary.

I’m sure you’ve all seen her outburst yesterday in Congo over someone in the audience asking her for her husband’s opinion. Sure, everyone says now that student meant to ask what President Obama thinks. Sure Hillary totally pounced on the dude. But now she is being vilified in the press. It’s like this woman can’t get a break – and I generally don’t even really care for her. Would the media pay an ounce of attention to the press if a man responded this way if he thought someone was asking what his high profile wife thought? I don’t think so. He would seem confident and in command for reprimanding someone and putting them back in their place.

Yet Hillary seems emotional and “tired” from her trip. Some pundits are making excuses for her.

Come on. She reacted. She is human. She is the secretary of state and ought to react if someone is seemingly putting her down. I mean, didn’t the Koreans call her a “funny woman” and a “school girl” just like two weeks ago.  The press coverage of her is incredibly chauvinistic and it’s a shame her reaction is over-shadowing her presence in Congo, a country where over 200,000 women and children have been raped in a few months, the most dangerous place on earth for women. That is the real story here people.

Open Letter to the Networks July 10, 2009

If I had gobs of money like that strange Texas oilman who is always running energy ads, I would take out an open letter ad in the major papers and run ads on TV – mocking the networks for their “journalism” and pleading with them to stop.

Stop the madness.

Stop the absurd round-the-clock coverage.

MJ is dead. He was not super human. He did not walk on water. He didn’t solve the Middle East crisis or cure cancer.  He hasn’t even really done anything remarkable or noteworthy beyond allegedly being a pedophile in what – like 15 years.

Let it go, people. He was a man. He impacted popular culture, he was a leader in making super cool music videos back in the day, he had some great songs. Then he got weird. And guess what, it’s sad that he died and all – but seriously – seriously. Stop. Stop with the incessant coverage. Stop with the obsession over what will happen to his children. What about all the children who are left without a father every day – and guess what – they aren’t inheriting millions and might not even have big families to take them in? Let’s give them some attention instead of the children of a pop icon.

And how about all the news that is actually news-worthy out there that we aren’t getting because of the obsession with MJ. I keep wondering – is anyone beyond the network news and their web sites – as interested in the story? Is there a story? He died. Let’s move on.

Cruella De Ville May 27, 2009

Is it me, or has Kate, made famous for basically having 8 children and being clever enough to lock-in a reality TV show, being made out to be Cruella De Ville by all the gossip rags? Why do we love to vilify mothers? This whole story fascinates me endlessly even though I’ve only watched that show a handful of times. I don’t need a reality show to convince me that having 8 children, including sextuplets, would be a freaking nightmare.

Now, I’ve watched it enough to know that I get Kate; I like her, I understand how she ticks. I think she can be funny but basically she’s pretty much always teetering on the edge of being grumpy and you can see that her head is the next 10 steps ahead of where everyone else needs to be and she is plotting how they are going to get there. I respect her for that. The woman is organized, opinionated, in control and moderately bossy. She needs to be. If she weren’t, we’d be vilifying her for the same reasons we vilify the octomom.

I’ve also watched the show just enough to see that her husband is pretty lazy and basically takes very little initiative but sure does get annoyed when his wife bosses him.  His wife runs that household like a well-oiled machine and best I can tell – he has very little to do with it. Again, hats off to Kate.

So here we are totally enraptured by the infidelity crisis rocking the family – and what do I see all over the gossip rags – headlines like “From Mom to Monster” with a hideously unflattering picture of Kate shortly after she birthed the sextuplets and then today, the kids are now 5.

OK first – no one looks good after they’ve had a child – let alone 6 – so that is just rude to put the earlier picture on the mags. And second, while Kate has a really butt haircut and someone needs to tell her it’s not 1992 anymore (or whenever that hair might have been acceptable), power to her that she’s totally hot now and got her tummy tuck paid for by TLC.

But again, that is immaterial here – she is being vilified on the cover of magazines when what has landed her on the cover of these mags is her husband’s dumb affair with some even dumber (is that a word?) 23 year old child. I mean, if you are carrying on an affair not just with a married father, but a married father of EIGHT CHILDREN who has a reality TV show, you might be one of the dumbest people in the free world. Why would you want to take that on? He’s not going to leave his wife for you, sweetheart, and even if he did – trust me – you don’t want him. He is responsible for 8 kids.

So back to the issue at hand. Why is Kate being cast under the microscope here? In particular, her mothering skills – because her mothering skills have nothing to do with an alleged affair. And furthermore, if he was driven away because his wife was bossy – well grow up asshole – she doesn’t have an extra second of time to sugar coat the orders she barks at you and she wouldn’t be barking them if you took some initiative and did something helpful without being told. My other favorite is the trashing of her because she doesn’t pay enough attention to her husband.

Umm….can the people writing this hear what they are writing? And have they ever spent even 5 minutes with a small child – let alone 8 of them? Exactly how much time is this woman supposed to have at the end of the day to dote on her husband? And is it 1952 all of a sudden? When is he doting on her? Last time I checked, marriage was a two-way street. I have trouble finding time to “dote” (I just puked in my mouth a little) on my DH and I only have two kids.

So again – we are vilifying Kate – when her husband is the asshole cheating on his wife. Is it because women make up the largest percentage of readers of these gossip rags and we like to read about other women? So it’s more interesting to us to read about Kate and everything that makes her suck – instead of her husband? It’s just like the Jenny Anny-Brad Pitt – Angelina Jolie triangle – the microscope is still on Jenny Anny whenever she makes a move and we love to focus on Angie being the “other woman” – but does anyone remember that Brad is the asshole who cheated on his wife?

My other fav criticisms of her are that she has a nanny that she keeps off-camera. Umm…she damn well ought to have a nanny. DD1’s preschool class consists of 8 children and three adults full time – there’s no way just one teacher could handle 8 kids. Why is a mother expected to be any different? Has anyone considered what Kate would do when 6 of the 8 all have to pee at the same time? Seriously – just think about that for a second and then find yourself wondering why she has only one nanny, instead of ridiculing her for having one. I also love that she was criticized for going tanning on mother’s day…..umm…it’s f’ing mother’s day – isn’t she supposed to take a break and do what she wants?

Anyhoo – I missed the Jon and Kate season premiere but will def DVR it when it repeats because there some odd fascination to the train wreck and raw emotion that comes with this situation – but again – it’s really sad because this is a family we are all talking about. I will also probably continue to devour the gossip rags but know that part of it is because I am addicted to reading about how they are vilifying Kate next and I just remain in disbelief.

For those of you dying for an update on the battle against DD2 and her nightly conversations…I am superstitious and don’t want to jinx myself – so let’s just say that it’s working to my advantage right now and when I feel that we are in the clear – I will give you a full report.

Tune in later this week for “Denied” part two…why my mother of the year application for 2010 will definitely be rejected….

Rants March 18, 2009

OK seriously – there is a lot to rant about. Sure, I could wax on about Bernie Madoff, his wife’s $2 million worth of jewels the government wants, or AIG and their bonuses and our populist outrage…but really, aren’t Gloria Allred and Nadya Suleman or Meghan McCain and Laura Ingraham more interesting?

Let’s start with the Octo-Mom. She continues to fascinate me. I loathe her and all the people who have hopped on her gravy-train. I caught a few minutes of the Today Show this morning and of course Gloria “Every Story that captures the nation is a case I must represent” Allred was on with David Gregory. Why does this hideous woman insert herself constantly? She is so media hungry and opportunistic – why do we give her any attention? And speaking of vultures circling her prey, how about Nadya Suleman inviting a blog TV crew into her home to record the homecoming arrival of her two babies released from the hospital?

Yet we’re supposed to believe that everything she does is for her children while she invites a dirty news crew and their cameras into her home for the world to see? Seriously?
Meanwhile we have Gloria A. on national TV asking us to give money to this Angels group that is donating time and care to Nadya because we’re supposed to believe everyone is doing this for the sake of these 8 innocent babies?

Really people?

And why those 8 babies whose mother DELIBERATELY became pregnant when she already couldn’t handle the 6 she has? Why should we give our money to them when there are millions of children in this country who also need help and whose mothers didn’t deliberately pursue another multiples pregnancy to fulfill her own psychotic needs.

Seriously.

And can someone please crack the story of Nadya’s obvious plastic surgery above her lip and how she had the money for that one? She parades herself on TV and invites the cameras in – so she’s inviting the criticism and judgement.

And then there is the cat fight between some GOP women “pundits” – over Meghan McCain and her weight – I was totally in the dark when I caught a few seconds of Meghan McCain yesterday morning telling us how she’s not fat…and guess what…she’s not…..so I read this piece in Slate mag with real interest:

http://www.slate.com/id/2213992?nav=wp

You have to admit, however, it is fun to see the republicans fighting each other because they are usually so well disciplined and only the dumb Ds expose their internal fights all over the TV. Though I’m not sure fighting over weight and age really counts – but it’s still a good read on Slate.

When You’re Bored…. January 24, 2009

“When you’re bored, give me a call back,” my sister said to me last night when I told her I couldn’t talk. She called around 6:45pm, I was trying to wrap up dinner for DD1, a feeding for DD2, wondering where the hell DH was, and my mind was drifting towards the two bath times and bed times I wanted to wrap up by 8:30.

Her words really struck me. “When you’re bored..”

Bored.

When was the last time I was bored? More importantly, when in the hell will I find myself bored again?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I was probably plenty bored the last time I was at work, toiling away behind my desk, but setting aside painful meetings and generally lame time spent at work – when was the last time I was bored? When was the last time you were bored? Can’t remember? Didn’t think so.

So while I faked like I was giving full attention to dinner, I began to wonder, when will I be bored again? 10 years from now? hell no…both girls will be teens….I’m sure I’ll be plenty of things, but not bored.

15 years from now?

Maybe.

But how old will I be then?

And can my sister wait 15 years for me to call her back?

HA.

So here I am, kittens, finally back with you…I know you have missed moi as it’s been over two months…and certainly by now you know that I have a beautiful second red-headed daughter who is 8 weeks tomorrow. Time f’ing flies.

And we know we’re not bored (work time excluded).

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if it’s twice as much work. With the first child, everyone seemed to want to know how she slept (crappy compared to this one), with the second, everyone wants to know if it’s twice as much work. Well, only those who don’t have two yet ask that question.

I really can’t answer that question because it seems too hard to quantify but I’ve given it loads of thought because lord knows I wondered as much before the 30th of November when DD2 was born.

We all know I think mobility and certainly talking are over-rated – so I reserve the right to weigh in that it is twice, if not four times, as much work down the road. For now, here are my thoughts – I think that there is like zero down time now. I used to think I didn’t really have down time but as it turns out, with one, you actually probably have more down time than you realize – it’s just relative because you have way LESS down time than you did sans enfants. Well, with two, you realize how much down time you had with just one because suddenly that down time is filled with other things – like changing more diapers or doing way  more laundry or nursing or wondering how you haven’t eaten lunch yet at 3pm (yet despite no time for lunch, you still look a few months preggo. Life is cruel).

But at the same time, I love it. I’m definitely not complaining but I am not ready to say it’s double the work yet – it’s just more work. And more fun.

I have way more to say – but this is my precious down time and I’ve got tons of other things to be doing – so more later, kittens. Until then, let’s all just be happy that Bush is finally gone and the beloved Obama family is now occupying 1600 PA Ave. I mean really – did that take long enough or what?

Oh – me and a KT BFF had our picture taken with Ben Affleck and he’s unbelievably hot in person. Holy shit…..and tall. A tall, dark, drink of water….way to go Jenny Garner is what I have to say to her…..

Meow.

I’m too sexy for my…….. August 13, 2008

Over the weekend, we were enjoying some leisure time on the beach. As we were leaving that afternoon, DD and myself were walking very slowly (she was most irritated that I refused to carry her) and this afforded me the time to eavesdrop, a favorite past-time of mine, of course.

I happened to be eavesdropping on a conversation amongst some little girls passing me by. My best guess is that they were 7, maybe 8 at the most. They were talking about their BODIES. Each of them was adorable and perfect, and like all women, each had a totally different build, tone, etc. One of the girls who I found to be the most muscular and frankly one of the healthiest looking, was really leading the conversation and lamenting over her size and the best times of day to eat and the ideal foods to eat to keep her weight at a minimum. As they got a bit further from me, the conversation turned to the style of swimsuit that is the most flattering for their figures.

THEIR FIGURES?

They are babies.

I was dumbfounded.

DUMBFOUNDED I tell you.

And horrified. And sad.

I wanted to pull them over immediately and interrupt this conversation and ask them why they weren’t counting their change for the ice cream man. I mean – these are little kids.

And then of course, I had to look down at my sweet DD who still lives and dies for the joy of a Popsicle at the end of a meal – and just hope that she won’t be having this conversation so early in life with her friends. Shouldn’t they be talking about puppies and unicorns still at 7? I mean, come on.

Then a KT BFF sent me a link to this article in US News & World Report titled “Too Sexy Too Soon”:

http://www.usnews.com/blogs/on-parenting/2008/8/11/too-sexy-too-soon-combating-the-sexualization-of-childhood.html

The author not only shares the same shock and horror I felt over the weekend but examines more closely the sexualization of childhood – and how this applies to both boys and girls. As my DD is inching closer and closer to three, she’s just more aware.  She’ll see something on TV and respond to it – I can’t keep her sheltered in the world of Noggin, apparently. Her most recent discovery is “Sponge Bob Squarepants” and I can’t stand it – I try to really limit it because there is no education in it and I really don’t think she can understand that show just yet. But my point is this – how long can I keep her from Hannah Montana? And those horrible Bratz dolls? And half-shirts? And learning about blow jobs?

It’s scary, kittens.

Kids need to be kids.

My stomach is still churning over hearing that conversation between the little girls en route to an afternoon on the beach.

More on babies having babies July 9, 2008

So this morning at the gym, I was catching up on the latest In Touch magazine and towards the back, found a small blurb on Jamie Lynn Spears. I know this is really going to shock you all – she’s finding motherhood more difficult than she anticipated. She is used to getting 10-12 hours of sleep and now is having to wake up every three hours (she should be freaking grateful she gets three hour stretches!). So apparently her mom is stepping in to help her but vows to not make her life too easy.

OK. First of all, shouldn’t her FIANCE be stepping in to help her? What exactly is he doing in this scenario because I’m pretty sure he had a hand in bringing this baby into the world.
And secondly – why is this buried in the back of the magazine?

Why must we tout pregnant teen “celebs” on front covers and all over the news when they announce pregnancies and announce the arrival of healthy babies into the world – but when reality sets in and life suddenly isn’t all sunshine and roses – the teen learns babies aren’t just chubby cheeks and dimples – but a shitload of exhausting work – shouldn’t THIS be the front cover story? Shouldn’t THIS be what they are covering on Access Hollywood?

How is burying that towards the back in a small blurb actually helping any teens out there?

It seems to me that if this girl is going to get her old gig back with Disney, and she’s going to be touted ANYWHERE as a celebrity and possible role model for other young girls (I cringe even writing that) then she ought to be forced onto the talk show circuit, and put on covers of teen magazines all over the place, talking about the REALITY of having a baby, how exhausting it is, what it did to her body, how draining never sleeping but a few hours in a row is, and how NOT rewarding it feels at first. This is a baby who had a baby. So let’s put it out there for all the world to learn from. No one should care how she’s getting her body back or what her future TV deals are if we haven’t heard the truth out of her first.

In that vein, if anyone else is following the “Baby Borrowers” show on NBC, know that I am very much looking forward to watching the wrath of the toddlers brought on these dumb teens this week. The thing that has surprised me the most about this show so far, beyond how incredibly painful some of the teenage girls are to watch for even one second, is how mature most of the teen boys are. I cannot believe how quickly they stepped up to the plate and really stood in when their pathetic, whiney, princess, immature girlfriends cried because they didn’t want to wear a pregnancy suit or didn’t like being put in their place by the moms, or didn’t like being disrupted at night. Most of those girls are making me sick. Kudos for the boys for being mature.

And finally – two more celebrity babies, born to ADULTS, arrived this week. So let’s re-start the mocking of celebrity baby names we so love to play. What’s with Nicole Kidman’s daughter’s name? SUNDAY Rose? I mean, come the f on, Nicki Kids. Sunday? Think she went anywhere and introduced herself as “Sunday” to see how that goes over amongst mature adults? So freaking stupid. And then we hear the justifications about all the spiritual reasons behind the name and how it’s part of the name of the islands where they honeymooned, and on and on, and it still seems equally as dumb of a name to me.

 I heard on the radio that Matthew McConaughey’s son is named Levi, which frankly I think is really cute, so I won’t mock that. Plus I am amazed at how incredibly beautiful his Brazilian model girlfriend is, each and every time I see a picture of her, so really – Levi is going to be so hot.

That’s enough ranting for me today.

More Random Things June 25, 2008

By now I’m sure we’ve all heard about the new show premiering tonight on NBC, “The Baby Borrowers.” I will admit, I am fascinated. First- I am hung up on why teenagers are married? Then, I’m hung up on why they want to have children already? THEN – I’m hung up on what kind of insane parents would donate their baby and toddler for this national experiment – train wreck in the making? I’m pretty sure I’m judging them, even if they are only one room away, watching everything unfold. What do those parents gain by letting their babies be a guinea pig for another horrible reality show? Why let your sweet babe be a sacrificial lamb for teens? Teens scare me.

And yet, you better believe, I intend to watch it at least tonight. I don’t know if this is just another example of endorsing a teenager’s insane belief that they can and should be married and having children – by even giving them a national platform – or if it could actually open up some kids eyes to the reality of life with babies. Who knows. But I’ve never said I was above totally trashy TV.

In terms of other observations for the second time preggo – people are OBSESSED with if we told our DD yet, why not if we haven’t and when we plan to tell her. This has really surprised me. Why is anyone even thinking about that? Have they forgotten she is 2.5 years old – not 10? It fascinates me. And not just people without children who can’t really appreciate what a toddler can and cannot process – people with toddlers – people with school age children – universally – everyone wants to know if we told DD that she is going to be a big sister.

The answer is this – NO. I can’t figure out why, in my right mind, I would tell her this now. She has no real concept of time beyond what happens next in the day or when her next meal is. Telling her that we are going to the beach on Friday is like telling her we are going to the beach in December. Right? What does Friday mean to her?

My point – how would telling her that she’s going to be a big sister and there is going to be a baby in the house – make any sense right now when that event isn’t happening until early December? Why open myself up to questions that give an answer that don’t make a lot of sense just yet? Plus – it’s totally going to be meaningless to her until this baby arrives and comes home and guess what…doesn’t leave.

So people’s obsession with this is totally amusing and fascinating to me. I figure I’ll start talking to her about it when my stomach is so large, that it’s in her way and she can’t help but wonder about it. Then we’ll tell her and start reading some “I’m a big sister” books.

Even that won’t mean much to her considering she told me that daddy has a baby in his tummy the other week.  But I still can appreciate the fact that toddlers don’t like surprises and she deserves to know – it just seems insanely early to me yet.

And finally, in case you haven’t noticed, the celebrity gossip mag watch of how quickly Jessica Alba is losing her baby weight is in full swing and it continues to annoy the hell out of me. Why do we fixate on celebrities and their loss of baby weight? They have personal trainers, chefs and probably night nurses. They have the means and the time to get back to the gym  – things the rest of us don’t have. It’s maddening to me.

 

Random Things June 10, 2008

Once again, work is totally sabotaging my efforts at blogging. How can this be? What kind of cruel reality do I live in that it can be 110 with the humidity the first week of June AND work can be so insanely busy that I don’t have time to play? Life is so cruel sometimes.

With that, I’m going to give you some random links to wet your whistle until I have more time to play – which sadly – will be next week.

First off – we’ve all heard by now that Jessica Alba delivered a baby girl over the weekend. But why – why – why did she name her HONOR?
What the hell kind of name is that to give a girl? Especially when baby’s daddy’s name is CASH?

Is it me – or are they just begging for a twist of irony and this girl will end up being the next call girl busted with a Governor? I mean – Honor? Conceived out of wedlock? Who’s daddy’s name = MONEY.

It bewilders me. And yes, it bewilders me at a time when there are so many more important things to find bewildering. Like why is gas over $4 a gallon? And how can I get rich off that instead of pissed off when I fill up my tank? And who will Obama pick for his running mate? And does anyone even give a shit about who McCain will pick? I’m going to go out on a limb and just say he’ll pick someone younger than him. He has too.

Oh and white. And male. Those crazy Republicans.

In case you felt the need to start pondering the pleasure zone that is your marital bed o’love – then you ought to read this piece from Sunday’s NYT about two couples who did it every day for like 100 days. Or was it 365 days? I got lost in my own thoughts of trying to understand who in their right mind would sign up for that? Beyond pimply faced teens on prom night?

I’m just going to warn you though, after you read this piece, you WILL end up wondering if your sex life is really that interesting, what other peoples are like and should you be doing something more risky about it….you’ve been warned.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/08/fashion/08nights.html?em&ex=1213243200&en=d0ee9652453428ea&ei=5087%0A

For those of you who might need a laugh, here’s a link to another NYT Sunday styles piece but this one ran two weeks ago – and honestly – it’s freaking hilarious. It’s about rich people who aren’t as rich anymore because of the economy. Boo hoo for them.

Anyhow, it’s about obnoxious New Yorkers who are only going to make like $8 million this year instead of $20 million and how they are worried their wives will leave them when they learn their self-worth has dropped and that GASP – these kept women would need to go on a BUDGET.

If you are that much of a selfish wench, how can you possibly find another man who is willing to marry you? This is what I was left wondering.

Maybe those women have some bedroom tricks that the rest of us need to learn.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/01/fashion/01rich.html?scp=1&sq=Wealthy+New+Yorkers+%2B+Economic+Downturn&st=nyt

And I leave you with this, kittens, in case you are wondering what else I find myself wondering on random Tuesday afternoons, it is this: Why hasn’t some brilliant female scientist figured out a way to let men be the ones who get pregnant?

 

Riddle me this May 6, 2008

Why is this famous 2-year-old still walking around with a bottle? What the?

http://popsugar.com/gallery/520921?page=0,1,0

And why is her mother wearing a sweater and trench coat while Suri is wearing a tank top dress?

And as if the New Kids on the Block Summer Reunion tour weren’t enough for all of us…why…why…why….is this model wearing tight-rolled jeans???

http://www.jcrew.com/catalog/product.jhtml?id=prod87573171&catId=cat90230

Oh – and finally – just when I really thought I couldn’t be surprised by ANYTHING – I learned of this company B.Y.O.G.

That would be “Bring Your Own Gown”

But not so fast, kittens, not the kind of gown you are thinking of – this time we’re talking about DELIVERY GOWN.

You got it. Apparently two women cooked up the idea to create stylish – and here’s the kicker – REUSABLE – gowns for delivery, so you can avoid the drab generic one the hospital provides. Turns out Jessica Alba plans to B.Y.O.G. for her big day.

SO just when I thought two-year olds with bottles and tight rolled jeans was confusing…it turns out someone out there thinks they want to WEAR AGAIN the gown they delivered a child in????

Huh?

http://www.shopbyog.com/products.html

I am, for once, speechless.