Kitty Time

Motherhood, babies, life, celebrities, politics…kitty’s claws come out when she’s in the mood.

Pimp my house, yo September 30, 2008

Filed under: Husbands, Motherhood, Nanny — kittytime @ 4:33 pm

Like all customers, it started innocently enough….I just got my feet wet….but before I knew it, I’d become the Elliot Spitzer of the home project world with my nanny as my pimp.

Sure, I’m not crossing state lines with prostitutes and I’m pretty sure the FBI isn’t surveilling me but seriously, I am ADDICTED.

See, I used to think I needed a wife. Now I’ve realized I have something better – a nanny. I tell her what I want done, she finds me the right people for the right price and before I know it – they are at my house, wrapping up various odds and ends. I come home from work and it’s all done. Finished. Complete. With no real effort on my part.

It’s like being a man and just showing up one day and getting a baby!

What prompted all of this?

The same thing that leads blossoming politicians and presidents astray, I’m sure, I just got tired of waiting for my DH to get it done.

It began with just some leaves being cleaned up and bagged and taken away. They’d been in that corner of our yard for THREE YEARS. With that first time, I was nervous and I didn’t tell my spouse, I just arranged for the job to get done. What I forgot was he would be home that day to take DD to school and he called saying “Who is Jose and why is he in our yard?”

HA – busted.

But see, Jose came and he took it all away and that corner of my back yard never looked better.

So I was hooked. What else was bothering me? What else needed done and the response from DH was always this: “I’ll get to it.”

Uh huh…sure you will.

As it turns out, there is SO MUCH to be done around the house…and the nanny has someone for everything.

Now DH is fully on board with this..he doesn’t even ask…he just acknowledges when something is fixed and nods his head. He sees the beauty in the nanny as our pimp. I am in hog heaven. Things have never been so clean, so organized and so expeditiously done chez moi.

So for all of you who also joined me in believing you need a wife – it turns out it’s not true! You just need a nanny as your pimp – and I’d recommend you cut your husband out of the process – just tell her what you need, settle on a price – and get it done. It’s magical.

 

Early Riser Police September 26, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood — kittytime @ 3:29 pm

Well kittens….I’ve reached a conclusion. After three weeks without the passie and consistent 5am wake-ups, its time for a new approach chez moi.

I kept holding out hope that DD would inch her way back to waking somewhere after 6am, as she’d been doing for some time, but now that so much time has passed, it’s clear to me that I need a new plan of attack.

Some of you might be wondering what’s taken me so long to reach this moment of clarity….but if you combine the sleeplessness that comes with your third trimester in combo with a toddler waking you up every day at 5am, it makes moments of clarity few and far between. But the time has come.

So what am I going to do, you wonder?

Get out my whistle and police siren….because the KT sheriff has pulled into town and she’s as bad as she wants to be, that’s what I’m going to do!

In other words, the old “OK, now you need to be a big girl and if you wake up and it’s still dark outside, that means you need to go back to sleep and wait until the sun comes up” – logic is clearly not working. I know she understands. But here’s the difference – she doesn’t care.

And we’ve already established this is a child who will NOT let you climb into bed with her and cuddle her back to sleep, nor will she come into our bed to cuddle up and go back to sleep, or really even watch cartoons. So, I’m going to quit rewarding her.

Starting tomorrow morning, I’ll put her on the potty, put her in some underpants, then put her back in her room and tell her she doesn’t come downstairs until the sun is up. No more playing, no cartoons, not when it’s the middle of the night.

This will go over about as successfully as McCain’s pathetic ploy to delay the debates and demonstrate leadership.

But I will stand firm. I’m prepared for her to scream and shout and carry on and for there to be much drama for many days until she finally realizes that my will outlast hers.

What time will I pull her out? Who knows. The ideal would be to leave her up until 6:30 – being realistic. Of course anytime after 7am is really ideal, but I’m living in reality. I’m thinking to even get to 6am will be enough because it’s not like she’ll just quietly acquiesce and play for 45 minutes. But mark my words, victory will be mine and we will eventually get to 6:30am.

We’re going head-to-head.

So if you find yourself up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow morning, know that I’m right there with you, playing bad ass with a determined 3-year old who clearly thinks she doesn’t need her beauty sleep.

I will report back in next week with how this approach is going.

 

HMW Seeking 1HS September 23, 2008

Filed under: Husbands, Motherhood — kittytime @ 2:38 pm

You might be wondering what it is, I’m seeking, exactly.

Well, as die-hard KT fans know (and there are thousands of you), almost two years ago I blogged about being a Happily Married Wife (HMW) in search of well, a wife: http://kittytime.wordpress.com/2006/12/14/hmw-seeks-ftw/

Right now, my demands are much less, my expectations much lower, perhaps parenthood continues to get the best of me and beat me down, who knows. This time around, I’m just a HMW seeking 1 Hour of Sleep. (1HS)

Why? you ask.

Let me tell you.

Seems that the disposal of the passie has worked out just great for DD but not so awesome for DH and myself. In fact, on Sunday night we jokingly (though secretly not jokingly) talked about giving her back the passie just to get that one more hour of sleep.

You got it kittens, DD has resorted to her old baby-like ways and now rises for the day EVERY DAY in the 5am hour. There is no coaxing her back to sleep, or coaxing her into our bed, or even zoning out in front of “Diego.”

She is up and raring to go. She wants to PLAY!

The cruel twist of fate! Who would have guessed that by torturing her with forcing her to bid adieu to her beloved passie, she would turn the tables on us and torture us, seemingly indefinitely.  Ahh, the wily and unexpected tricks of the toddler-set. They are always one-step ahead, those toddlers.

The regular 5am wake up is catching up to both of us. Last night after dinner my DH quietly disappeared, after a while, I began to wonder where he was. It was 8:15pm.

Oh, he was in bed sleeping, with all the lights on, faking like he really wasn’t down for the night.

Probably dreaming of passie fairies making their grand and unexpected return to our home, delivering that one big wish we have, just one more hour of sleep.

Anyhow – clearly we aren’t giving her back the passie so that we can sleep an hour longer. But you better believe that I am looking into resurrecting Mothers Against Daylight Savings (MADS – remember that from last year: http://kittytime.wordpress.com/2007/11/05/mads/) because it will, of course, become a 4am wake-up call for at least one week after the time changes.

All of this with the arrival of the new baby sister on the horizon.

Sleep is clearly over-rated and we are just getting ready for the continued loss of it chez moi, apparently……

 

Breaking Toddler Addictions September 15, 2008

Filed under: Husbands, Motherhood — kittytime @ 8:29 pm

As anyone who read James Frey’s fiction-nonfiction ”A Million Little Pieces” knows, breaking a beloved of an addiction is an ugly thing. It can rip apart families, destroy lives, and wreak havoc on the land.

Turns out, this is also true of toddlers who have an addiction. 

Before I even got pregnant this second time around, I knew that three things had to happen before I brought another child into this world:

1. DD needed to be potty trained. A gal can only change so many diapers.

2. DD needed to be sleeping in a big girl bed. Parents can only afford so many cribs.

3. DD needed to be broken of her pacifier habit. We only need one baby in the house.

And as I’m into my third trimester, I achieved the first two with relative ease. We all came away unscathed from the potty training not long after DD’s second birthday and now her third birthday is around the corner. Moving to a regular bed is really unmentionable. I saved the worst for last.

Except by the time we faced down breaking her of the passie, I had learned over and over again that nothing was really as bad as the anticipation thus far, and so instead of dreading this ordeal, frankly, I was naively optimistic about it.

Enter the word addiction.

Most people don’t think of the word addiction going hand-in-hand with a toddler. But indeed, it turns out, they can be BFFs.

We are about 10 days into our passie-free zone, chez moi, and I just now am feeling ready to discuss what went down.

First, a tip. A dear friend tipped me off to the “Passie Fairy” and she learned about it from watching “Super Nanny.”

So I quickly ran out and purchased two presents, one for after each nap on the first dark day of being a passie-free zone - with the idea being that the passie is left for other babies (note: not her future baby sister so as to not be unfairly placing blame on the unborn and defenseless b/c we know toddlers have the memory of an elephant) and in return, upon waking up, the passie fairy leaves a “special present” for brave girls and boys.

Let’s be honest, I’m always looking for an excuse to go shopping anyway, so the whole Passie Fairy ruse just gave me a good reason. Again, I naively thought we wouldn’t really need said gifts.

How many of you are laughing at me right now? Go ahead. Laugh away. I deserve it. Mock at will.

We had been talking about how big girls don’t need passies and passies are for babies for many weeks in our house, leading up to the big day. Friday September 5 was DD’s last night with a passie and I warned her of such, knowing that no toddler takes well to surprises. As I reminded her it was her last night with the passie and the passie fairy was coming tomorrow to take her passies away, but she wouldn’t need them because she is a big girl, she nodded enthusiastically (all the while with her passie in her mouth).

Like any true addict knows, you’ll agree to anything while still being fed your addiction. SURE – the passie fairy sounded like a good idea to her at the time because really, she still had her passie and ”special presents” were offered.

So Saturday morning rolls around, it’s time to go up for our morning “quiet time,” therefore it’s time to part ways with the passie.

Note to anyone out there – make sure your partner is present for this initial scene. Mine was outside in the pouring rain from some Hurricane, emptying out our clogged drains and missed it in its entirety.

I took the passie from her and the screaming began. Horrible screaming, begging, pleading for the passie. Begging her mommy, “one more time” for passie.

I couldn’t break. I knew I couldn’t give in. Remember the three rules? We need only one baby in the house come late November.

So up the stairs we went, DD aggressively kicking, screaming and begging for passie all the while.

Much to my surprise, she would not even GO INTO her bedroom, let alone face her bed.

And the reality starting sinking in….in my fragile, emotional preggo state – this is going to be a rough weekend….

Long story short, I didn’t fight her and back down the stairs we went, kicking and screaming and begging for the passie, all the while.

DH enters the house about 20 minutes later to peace and quiet because we stopped begging for the passie due to the excitement over the “Special Present” the passie fairy left.

So we bought ourselves some time.

Then came time for the afternoon nap. This one, she needs. And by this time, she was tired.

Two hours kittens.

She cried, begged, pleaded and asked for her passie for TWO HOURS, fighting her nap all the while. We listened to it on the monitor and ignored it. She didn’t cry really hard, obviously we wouldn’t let that go on for so long, but she eventually fell asleep for about half hour. Then woke up sobbing, begging for her passie. I went upstairs and she could barely eek out the words. “mommy, can I please have my p-puh-puh….Mommy, can I please have my Pa-pu-pa..

in between the sobs

Finally the third time “Mommy, can I please have my passie?”

As she sobbed.

Heart is breaking into little pieces……

I dreaded bed time.

But we had another “special present” after that second nap, which bought us more time for distraction.

Note - I am not above bribery to buy time.

Enter bed time.

I will spare you the details in case you are facing down this reality in your house, but let’s just say she sobbed for  ONE HOUR. This time she wasn’t talking, asking us for anything, she was just crying. It was like she knew it was just gone, so she just cried. We debated going upstairs but we knew she was only crying for one thing and we threw that one thing out.

Or so we thought.

After a horrible hour of listening to sweet DD sob and sob, she fell asleep and stayed that way until about – 4am.

When she woke up, realized she didn’t have her passie, and instead of falling back asleep, she started crying and begging for her passie.

Mommy and daddy wanted to cry because it was 4am.

She quickly bounced back and stopped asking for the passie. I thought we turned the corner, we were through the worst, we were all going to survive.

Hours went by with no mention of the passie. Things were looking up.

Then I left before afternoon nap time to run an errand. DH assured me that he had it all under control. I had this sinking feeling that I shouldn’t be leaving but what could possibly happen?

I was blissfully unaware, shopping, when my phone rang and it was a call from Home.

My stomach hit the ground.

DH was amused, telling me I was never going to believe what happened. He took DD upstairs for her nap, she tripped in her room, fell, and under the bed, spotted a PASSIE.

And apparently her face broke out in a huge grin and she was over the moon and so he let her have it “one last time.”

I started crying in the store.

Had we just reverted back in time? How could he let her have it? What did this mean for bed time?

And how could we have been so sloppy as to not make sure there were NO PASSIES left in the house?

This was all too much for a fragile and tired preggo to take. My shopping excursion was ruined.

I was dumbfounded on so many levels and felt beat down by this cruel fate. And sloppiness on our part. Fortunately I was able to purchase MORE presents from the passie fairy, unsure if that was really helping but not knowing what else to do.

After returning home, I angrily informed DH that he was going to be the bad guy. After her nap, he got to take that last passie away from her and explain that if she is a brave big girl tonight, the passie fairy will come again, and leave a present, etc etc.

Back to square one. And the f’ing passie fairy. Weren’t we supposed to be rid of her?

My stress level was through the roof the remainder of the day.

Dread filled my stomach as bed time approached. My chest was tight.

Would she cry for another hour? Could we take it? Maybe I would just leave? Was it all too painful? Was the passie so bad, I wondered?  Does it really matter if she still has it as a three-year-old? Should we just drop it? Was this a sign that she should just keep her passie?  My mind raced. My heart was pounding.

Though she cried after her nap when DH took it away, she cried only for a few minutes. Then bed time came, she asked for it a few times, but no tears. She just went to sleep. We couldn’t believe it. Were we passie-free? Were we through the worst?

As it turns out, we were. Here we are 10 days later and no one talks about passies anymore. DD hasn’t mentioned them. She also doesn’t sleep as much. Though she is sleeping past 4am now, she’s still waking up around 5:30am every day. Clearly she is still working on learning how to wake and then settle back down at that time without her passie. We don’t love being up that early but it is what it is.

With the Sunday afternoon surprise of finding the other passie, what I realized was I totally underestimated not only DH’s judgment call but also DD’s ability to understand his reasoning that this was the last time and we meant it. I really underestimated them both.

Now if only she’ll get back to sleeping past 6am.

 

The Girl Effect September 12, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood — kittytime @ 4:02 pm

To counter balance yesterday’s depressing revelation about Governor Palin and just how weak and pathetic her track record appears to be on many fronts, I’d like to turn the tables on an issue about empowering girls. My sister sent me a link to a YouTube video:

 http://www.youtube.com/user/girleffect

I urge you to watch it.

Here is the link to the web site:

http://www.girleffect.org/#/home/

Important issues that we all can play a part in by participating.

Kind of like the election……

 

Palin does not stand up for women September 11, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood, Politics — kittytime @ 5:51 pm

To all the women out there who believe Governor Palin is there to stand up and protect women and will be an advocate for women, here on day #2 of KT’s attempts at focusing on policy and substance, I urge you all to learn more about Governor Palin’s track record. As it turns out, Alaska has the highest number of sexual assaults in the country and typically, survivors of rape are NOT charged for the medical exam, except those who lived in Wasilla when Palin was the Mayor.  In fact, the Alaska legislature had to intervene and pass a bill forbidding communities from charging women for this service, though it seems Wasilla, under Palin’s watch, was the only local community charging the women.

On the contrary, Senator Joe Biden WROTE the Violence Against Women Act of 1994 and said the following about this important, pro-woman, piece of legislation:

“I consider the Violence Against Women Act the single most significant legislation that I’ve crafted during my 35-year tenure in the Senate. Indeed, the enactment of the Violence Against Women Act in 1994 was the beginning of a historic commitment to women and children victimized by domestic violence and sexual assault. Our nation has been rewarded for this commitment. Since the Act’s passage in 1994, domestic violence has dropped by almost 50%, incidents of rape are down by 60%, and the number of women killed by an abusive husband or boyfriend is down by 22%. Today, more than half of all rape victims are stepping forward to report the crime. And since we passed the Act in 1994 over a million women have found justice in our courtrooms and obtained domestic violence protective orders.”

If you’d like to read more about this breaking news, here is the link:

http://www.dailykos.com/

KT out.

 

The Palin Pick September 10, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood, Politics — kittytime @ 5:57 pm

It finally hit me like a ton of bricks over the weekend. I was so mystified as to why the McCain camp branded Palin as a “hockey mom” right out of the gates instead of touting her political experience and readiness for the job at hand. It made no sense to me, I thought. It just opened the doors to calling all of our attention to her choices as a mom, instead of her experience and resume and qualifications to be the Vice President.

How naive I was. I fell for this masterful trickery hook, line and sinker. At least I wasn’t alone.

Why, it was DELIBERATE – my mind realized over the hot sunny afternoon visit to the park on Saturday. Those brilliant aholes, running his campaign, I thought. How ingenious to brand her as a mom, so that like lemmings, we would all jump on the train of trashing her and reopening the mommy wars, and deflect the attention off the substance: she is NOT qualified to be vice president.

So from this point forward, here on KT, I will refocus on the substance when discussing the McCain-Palin pick. The substance is what the election should be about and the substance is about where this team stands on issues in front of our country. Not where she was when her water broke. Trust me, this is all going to be very difficult for me to do. It’s going to take a lot of discipline.

I would like to add, however, that several male and republican friends have separately questioned my deep dislike for Palin and inquired if I would feel this way if she were a democratic, pro-choice woman. I would like to remind them that we actually had a democratic, pro-choice woman on the ticket – the presidential one – if memory serves. And as any avid fan of KT knows, I did not support Hillary. I re soundly support a woman holding the highest or second highest office in the land but at the end of the day, I support her when she is the right person for the job. There is no question that Hillary was and is vastly more qualified for such position than nobody-Palin but I still didn’t believe she was the right person for the job. So again, it is totally and completely obnoxious to assume that a woman will support a female candidate just because she is a woman. Women do, in fact, pay attention to more than just shared genitals and think through issues of importance and vote for the candidate that stands up for their issues – though McCain seems to think otherwise. I have to believe that women, in the end, like men, vote for the most qualified team, not on chromosomes.

And with that, I will begin paying more acute attention to where Palin stands on issues and what her experience and track record indicates to supports what she actually brings to the table. Of course, her being sequestered from speaking to the media, makes this a little difficult, but we do know that she is anti-abortion even in circumstances of rape and incest, she supports abstinence-only education,  and she has less than two years experience in a state with a population the size of Baltimore, MD. According to the Washington Post, regardless of what she claims on the campaign trail, she did, in fact, support the “Bridge to Nowhere” until Congress botched that one after wasting $200 million and she received her first passport in 2007, only to travel to Canada and then to Afghanistan to visit the Alaska National Guard Troops. When asked her views on Iraq, she has indicated that she hadn’t thought much about the war there.

More to come as we learn more about her.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/09/AR2008090903727.html

 

Rhetoric vs. Reality September 5, 2008

Filed under: Politics — kittytime @ 6:11 pm

I don’t know about you but I’m still spinning like a top after last night’s speech delivered by McCain, coupled with the previous night’s speeches from Guiliani and Palin. Truth be told, I actually fell asleep during the last bit of Palin’s speech, but last night I was so fired up and pissed off, even old geezer McCain couldn’t put me to sleep.

Unfortunately, I am very busy today, so I don’t have much time for my own editorializing but I will rely upon the sound words of a few others to help make my point.

Over the course of the last week, I wondered the following: what is it about the McCain-Palin ticket that actually represents change because I see nothing different. Same story, different faces. And what is it about people that compels them to believe they need to have someone “real” and “like them in office?” This is the highest office in the land, the most powerful position in the WORLD – frankly if there were someone “like me” in office, then I would be scared because I spend most of my time thinking about food, my daughter and celebrity gossip (not in that order). And further, didn’t the people just elect not once, but a horrifying and embarrassing TWO TIMES, a man who they viewed as just “like them” and what has it gotten us? A recession, record high energy prices, high unemployment, millions of uninsured children and oh – a war under false pretenses. So one might wonder, what will it take to learn the lesson of wanting someone “like us” in office? And finally, I have wondered why the republicans play the role of victim, so horribly abused by the “liberal” media because they DARE ask probing questions about the candidates families, meanwhile the candidates parade their children on stage and use them as propaganda and proof that they are just “like them” – at their own convenience. Do they want their cake and to eat it too?

So in review, here are the questions:

1. What about McCain-Palin represents change?

2. Why haven’t people learned that electing someone “like them” is just tom-foolery and political branding at its best? And is that really the smartest thing for our country? And what about McCain and his 7 houses and his wife’s $300K outfit on Monday night, makes them “like us?”

3. Why the double-standard? The media is awful and hateful for asking questions about the candidates families meanwhile the candidates can parade the children around like puppeteers to their own advantage?

So let’s learn a bit more about these questions, shall we?

With regard to the issue of “change,” an editorial in yesterday’s Washington Post points out that McCain has reversed many of the old positions he once held, the very things that earned him the identity of a “maverick” and now is towing the party line like the fairest Republican of them all. For example:

“As Continetti points out, it’s true that McCain worked with Ted Kennedy to reform America’s dysfunctional immigration policy. But during the primaries McCain disavowed the bill they coauthored, caving in to the GOP’s anti-immigration base. Continetti also notes that McCain worked with Tom Daschle on anti-tobacco legislation in the 1990s. But now McCain opposes cigarette tax increases (which he once favored) and won’t commit to supporting a bill giving the FDA the regulatory authority that he and Daschle sought years ago. Another example of McCain’s supposed post-partisanship is his vote with John Kerry against the 2001 and 2003 tax cuts, but he now favors extending them and adding huge new regressive tax cuts to the mix. The idea that the Democrats McCain once worked with will remain loyal to him even as he abandons the positions that were the basis of their collaboration is bizarre……A conservative Republican found himself beaten in the 2000 primary by an establishment-backed candidate and then spent years thumbing his nose as the establishment that beat him. But once he realized that this wasn’t a path that led to the White House, he returned to his orthodox roots, literally embracing Bush and working hard to secure his re-election, and re-baptizing himself in the church of tax cuts. McCain’s even gone so far as to hire Tucker Eskew, the hack Republican operative who was in charge of smearing him back in the 2000 South Carolina primary.”

Here is the link to yesterday’s piece if you’d like to learn more:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/02/AR2008090201922.html

With regard to the issue of wanting someone in office who is “like them,” Judith Warner has a great blog on today’s NYT page, and among the many stellar points she makes, here is what she has to say about our second topic of the day:

“The “real” “authentic,” small-town “Everyday People,” of Hockey Moms and Blue Collar Dads whom even Rudolph Giuliani now invokes as an antidote to the cosmopolite Obamas and their backers in the liberal media. (Remind me please, once again, what was the name of the small town where Rudy grew up?)

Why does this woman – who to some of us seems as fake as they can come, with her delicate infant son hauled out night after night under the klieg lights and her pregnant teenage daughter shamelessly instrumentalized for political purposes — deserve, to a unique extent among political women, to rank as so “real”?

Because the Republicans, very clearly, believe that real people are idiots. This disdain for their smarts shows up in the whole way they’ve cast this race now, turning a contest over economic and foreign policy into a culture war of the Real vs. the Elites. It’s a smoke and mirrors game aimed at diverting attention from the fact that the party’s tax policies have helped create an elite that’s more distant from “the people” than ever before. And from the fact that the party’s dogged allegiance to up-by-your-bootstraps individualism — an individualism exemplified by Palin, the frontierswoman who somehow has managed to “balance” five children and her political career with no need for support — is leading to a culture-wide crack-up.

Real people, the kind of people who will like and identify with Palin, they clearly believe, are smart, but not too smart, and don’t talk too well, dropping their “g”s, for example, and putting tough concepts like “vice president” in quotation marks. “

If you’d like to read all of Warner’s piece, here is the link: http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/04/the-mirrored-ceiling/?em

And finally, to the double-standard of using family members as puppets and then criticizing the media for being invasive, Ted Anthony had an AP story out yesterday which I will copy and paste below in its entirety:

Analysis: GOP contradicts self on Palin family

By TED ANTHONY
AP National Writer

Posted: Thursday, Sep. 04, 2008

ST. PAUL, Minn. People: Make up your minds.

For two days, the chorus from Republicans on TV news and in the halls of the convention has been resounding: Back off and let the Palin family be. “That’s out of bounds,” said Minnesota’s Republican governor, Tim Pawlenty. “There’s no need to be intrusive and pry into that.”

Yet Wednesday found the following scenes unfolding:

-Sarah Palin’s pregnant, unmarried 17-year-old daughter and probable future son-in-law stood in a nationally televised, politically packaged airport receiving line to meet and greet the Republican candidate for president.

-The extremely cute and bubbly Piper Palin, 7, made her debut on her mother’s behalf, appearing in a video on John McCain’s daughter’s blog. “Vote for my mommy and John McCain,” she said, giggling as Meghan McCain grinned.

-Bristol Palin and her 18-year-old boyfriend, Levi Johnston, sat and held hands as they watched the Alaska governor deliver an acceptance speech that, in its opening minutes, focused heavily on her family and children. Later, the family – including Johnston – ascended the stage, basked in an extended ovation and waved.

Huh? The Republican message about the Palin offspring comes across as contradictory: Hey, media, leave those kids alone – so we can use them as we see fit.

If you doubt this scenario, consider this: On Wednesday morning, a teenage boy from Alaska stood in a receiving line on an airport tarmac, being glad-handed by the potential next president of the United States – because he got his girlfriend pregnant. TV cameras were lined up in advance. The mind boggles.

“Either the children are out of bounds, and you don’t put them in the photo ops, or you don’t complain when somebody wants to talk about them. You can’t have it both ways,” said John Matviko, a professor at West Liberty State College in West Virginia and editor of “The American President in Popular Culture.”

“Right now, it looks like they’re being used by the campaign more than the media are using them,” he said.

Though candidates for national office, and those close to them, are under more intense scrutiny than ever before in the American information culture, there is more to this situation than simple celebrity chasing.

These are two young people trying to figure out what to do in a difficult personal situation. The global scrutiny of it is a teenager’s worst nightmare, and under normal circumstances they would be allowed to find their way unbothered.

But one big obstacle stands in their way: Sarah Palin the candidate.

Yes, she has asked the media to “respect our daughter and Levi’s privacy as has always been the tradition.” Yet Palin has packaged herself as a PTA member and “hockey mom” – culturally loaded terms calibrated to evoke appealing images of middle America, the middle class, exurbia and strong 21st-century family values.

“Our family has the same ups and downs as any other, the same challenges and the same joys,” she said, one of many general and specific references to her family in her speech.

Using one’s relatives as accessories in the political arena can have its pitfalls, despite McCain’s remark to ABC News on Wednesday that Palin has “got an incredible resume, including a beautiful family.” Candidates open themselves to charges of hypocrisy if they demand the ability to boast but reject the attention that can ensue when the road gets rougher.

McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds, however, takes issue with that conclusion. He says both positions are possible.

“There’s a long-standing precedent of children of the candidates being in the public eye as members of families involved in public service,” Bounds said Wednesday night. “There is also a long-standing precedent of candidates’ children being left out of the hardball politics of campaigning for higher office.”

Barack Obama said flatly that the Palin kids should be “off limits,” but he has engaged in the same thing – though to a lesser extent.

In July, he and his wife, Michelle, appeared on a four-part “Access Hollywood” interview with daughters Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7. Obama later expressed regret about his decision to put them forward, saying, “I don’t think it’s healthy, and it’s something that we’ll be avoiding in the future.”

Nevertheless, the Obama girls have made other appearances. They stepped on stage twice at the Democratic National Convention last week – once to talk to their father via video hookup after their mother’s speech, and again after Obama accepted the nomination during the convention’s climactic moment.

Let’s remember one thing, though: Behind all the political machines and maneuverings, these contenders for the country’s highest office are human beings and parents. And a parent is no more infallible than a candidate.

On her blog Monday, Meghan McCain expressed solidarity with the Palin kids, saying she understood the things they were grappling with. “It’s a rough go being the son or daughter of a politician,” she wrote. “You can’t fully understand it unless you have lived it.”

The road is bumpy for sure, and the media probably aren’t helping. Sadly, though, the candidates themselves aren’t doing much to make things better, either.”

Let’s see how brilliantly the Republicans can perpetuate this campaign of nonsense from now through election day. I, for one, am not fooled.

Good weekends, kittens.

 

Hypocrisy Abounds September 3, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood, Politics — kittytime @ 4:53 pm

Once again, I just don’t even really know where to begin re: McCain’s pick of Palin as the VP. We talk a lot about working moms here on KT and I’m pretty sure that until McCain picked Palin, the only working mom criticized here is Katie Holmes because well, she’s a freak, and it’s too hard to resist.

But enter Palin. I immediately had a visceral reaction to her. Again, maybe it was the bun. And trust me, I realize this just plays into the horrible notion that women are hardest on each other. But you come to KT because I call it like I see it.

I realize that attacking Palin right now could be interpreted as suggesting that a woman cannot hold high office because she is a mother or questioning her because of her ability to commit her time underscores the perception that working moms aren’t as commited to their jobs because they are distracted by home life. I get that this is a slippery slope.

But this is the job of the vice presidency, not just any old job, and though Palin herself questioned what it is the VP does just this past July, those of us living outside of Alaska seem to fully appreciate that holding the second highest office in the land is a 24-7, demanding, stressful, intense job. So, I first would like to call out the Republicans who are using the following talking point: it is sexist to say that Palin can’t take on this responsibility, no one questions Obama and he has two kids, so we are only doing this because she is a woman.

Mais non, republicans!

A pretty weak talking point if you ask me.

This isn’t about questioning whether a PARENT can hold the highest and second highest office in the land – this is specifically about a parent who has a 5 month old with downs and a 17 year old expecting a baby. This, friends, is a unique situation and one that I would question whether the parent were a man or a woman. Anyone with any sense, particularly all parents out there, can fully appreciate just how demanding raising children is. But add in a special needs INFANT and a teen who hasn’t yet graduated high school and is going to become a young mother – before you even add in the three other children – and this is heavy demands and a unique circumstance. It would be extremely taxing on any family, let alone one in which one parent has the job of Vice President. To say that the situation of these two children alone won’t be very time consuming and distracting is fool’s talk.

So – I do think it is totally fair game that this is an issue – it is a tough question and a tough situation that needs to be addressed and hiding behind claiming it is sexist because she is a woman – is just a talking point. And a weak one at best.

My other issue is this – Palin was a virtual no one to those of us who do not have the pleasure of living in Alaska. The onus was on the McCain campaign to introduce her to the world – and they did that on Friday – but the way they did so is just INVITING lots of attacks on her because from the onset, they branded her as the poster-woman for all working moms. The woman who has it all – governorship at a young age, five children including one with special needs, a marriage, a former beauty queen pageant winner, a regular old hockey mom who also happens to be a tough governor. They branded her as a MOM. Rather than introducing her to us as a tough legislator with a long list of political victories and examples of those victories – she was branded as one of “us” and a “hockey mom.”

I’m a gal who understands a few things about branding. And if you are choosing to craft her identity as that of “hockey mom” and “former Miss Congeniality” then she is going to be judged by these standards – why the McCain camp didn’t brand her from the onset as a tough politician with a laundry list of accomplishments in her political career – escapes me entirely. But by making her a woman of the people, a woman we should flock to because we didn’t get Hillary, a woman who understands us all because she has mastered juggling work and family – then she is going to be judged against these standards. Like it or not. This was a strategic decision they made – and a terrible one, in KTs not-so-humble opinion.

Before I end, I would like to say a few things about Palin and McCain specifically. The whacko evangelicals love her because she is pro-life, pro-evolutionism and anti-birth control. She now is facing the reality of what happens when you refuse to teach your children about birth control. I am a proponent of teaching abstinence. This is the best of all scenarios – but teens will be teens. So let’s live in the real world, shall we? I want to know what Palin has done for women in her state, I want to know what the justification is for NOT being a proponent of birth control, if we’re supposed to flock to her like zombies with our bras burning because she has a vagina – I want to know, exactly, what it is she has done on behalf of women.  Because I haven’t seen any evidence just yet and frankly, I’ve been looking, and right now – she’s in a bit of a pickle over not advocating for birth control, now isn’t she?

According to a column by Ruth Marcus in yesterday’s Washington Post, Palin opposed a program that would have allowed teachers to teach students about contraception.  Marcus then goes on to point out McCain’s position:

“McCain has voted to increase abstinence-only funding, voted to terminate the federal family planning program and voted against funding teen pregnancy prevention programs. He voted to require teens seeking birth control at federally funded family planning clinics to obtain parental consent.”

You know how I feel about these beliefs.  You know who I will be voting for in November.

So in conclusion, I do not believe this is about judging her because she is a career-driven woman with children – this is about a family with two children who are going to need a tremendous amount of attention, time and support – and that stands in direct conflict with the reality of the pressure and demands on a Vice President. It is for Palin to decide what’s going to give – her family or her career – and she has clearly chosen her career – but it is fair for the voting public to question if the heart and soul of a VP is really in the game, given the reality of the home situation, whether the VP is a dad or a mom.

 

Let’s be clear: A vote for Palin is NOT a vote for Hillary September 2, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood, Politics — kittytime @ 1:44 pm

Greetings kittens -

I know I ended my last post expressing my boredom and ennui with the announcement surrounding McCains’ VP pick. I have to hand it to the old geezer, he sure did take us all by surprise. Though I’m not convinced it’s the kind of surprise that’s going to do him any good in the end.

My brain has been reeling since Friday over this selection and I have so much to say, I can barely even figure out where to begin.

So let’s break it down, kittens, shall we? Oh, and trust me, the kitty’s claws are out over this one.

The biggest comment I need to make and shout from the rooftops and hopefully not have to repeat over and over and over again between now and November (because if I do, this phrase might be my unborn child’s first words), a vote for Palin is NOT a vote for Hillary. A vote for Palin is NOT a vote for change. A vote for Palin is like a vote for Pat Buchanan or Ralph Reed or Rush Limbaugh or any other scary, evangelical extreme conservative old man that has been running his mouth off all these years.

Palin does NOT represent change just because she has a vagina. And it is so incredibly patronizing that anyone might actually believe that this selection will motivate the female voters that were previously on the Hillary bandwagon – and that these women, like lemmings, with their bras burning, will just switch teams to the McCain camp because all they care about is having a vagina in the Oval Office.

Give me a break, obnoxious McCain camp. I’m wiping the throw-up from my mouth and say this to you – the mere fact that you even think that does NOTHING but demonstrate that your mind-set is just as patronizing, closed and obnoxious as that of the Bush administration – it presumes we are stupid and will abandon our ideals and values because we’ve been FOOLED.

Guess what. We’re not.

No Hillary supporter in her right freaking mind can possibly vote for an NRA-card carrying, hunting, pro-lifer who believes creationism should be taught along side evolution in public schools and who is AGAINST birth control (oh trust me, we’re going to go there in a minute, the irony!) and who voted for Pat Buchanan in 1996.

Remind me again, how is Palin representative of CHANGE? Cause frankly, I’m just disgusted. She’s just the same – but this time with a really annoying school marmish bun. And seriously – why the bun, Sarah? Why the bun? It’s just so wrong. You’re on the national platform now.

And with McCain seemingly ready to croak at any minute, this is the person he wants to leave in charge of our country? This person who just 18 months ago was a freaking mayor of a small town of 9,000 people in a back woods state that most people forget about (sorry dear KT BFFs from Alaska). For real?

THIS is the first major decision he’s made demonstrating his leadership as President? This? Is he on crack?

I haven’t even touched upon the huge ethics scandal facing her.

So again, before I get too side-tracked on the obvious other issues – I must repeat again, a vote for Palin is NOT a vote for Hillary and it is totally patronizing and hideous for anyone to think that it is.

I’m thinking I might need to spend the entire week discussing the complexity of her having a 5 month old with downs, along with a 17 year old who is 5 months pregnant and getting married (should we have her meet Lynn Spears, they can trade notes?), not to mention her three other children. I mean, I could even take a week discussing the irony that this woman spouts off her mouth AGAINST birth control and is branding herself as a good Christian, meanwhile her 17 year old is knocked up. Can we make this stuff up?

Need I mention how the republicans would have VILIFIED Hillary and Bill had Chelsea gotten pregnant while Bill was in office and she was a teen? Does anyone need to spend more than half-second focusing on how this would have branded the already evil, working mom, aggressive, opinionated Hillary as proof of the downfall of all that is liberal if Chelsea were knocked up? I mean, for real. And now they are trying to spin it that this is just another example of her good Christian beliefs, that her child is raising a baby.

Oh good. A baby raising a baby in Washington on the national platform. That sounds really productive for the 17 year old.

I think I have to just stop now and revisit all of this again and again and again for the remainder of the week.

So in summary: A vote for Palin is NOT a vote for change. It is a vote for the same. I’m just reeling that the McCain camp would think we’d be foolish enough to think otherwise.

Obama-Biden ‘08